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2001, October 19, Friday

9:45PM, Miguel came home with food from work! He fixed me a plate, the pasta was pretty good! He brought up that he would go to his friend's place on Normandie for a drink, makes them DRINKS! LOL This time, he asked me! I wouldn't stop him at all. He would drink anyway! He offered me to go with him. I was tired to go. He tried to persauded me. I still refused! Miguel got dressed up. I heard him to drive away! I stayed online till 3:30, listening to web radio!

4:50AM, Miguel come home drunk for the UPTEETH TIME! He snack on the leftovers. He coughed for a while in the kitchen. I checked on him. He claimed he is okay. The next hour or so, his coughing continued waking me up. I got so angry at him, he refused to drink some water. I was so ready to salp his ass. I pulled the covers off of him, I was thisclose for some ass whopping! I went back to sleep, his cough went much longer. I couldn't sleep. He was really out of it, telling me to leave him alone! He finally drank some water. He used the restroom. I use that time to fully fell asleep. He woke up me coughing toward me. I convinced him to turn over on his other side. We both fell sleep!

2001, October 20, Saturday

8:50AM, I woke up to Miguel blew his nose. I was still tired. I didn't get enough sleep! Miguel used the restroom and hopped in bed. I asked him if he want to go with me to the post office. He wanted to, but changed his mind. He would rather sleep instead! He mentioned we don't need anything at K Mart. I figured we ran out of Nyquil! There was one more under the sink! We need another bottle of Tylenol; we had a few pills left. Therefore, I didn't went to K Mart afterall.

I got in the car. His fanny pack was in the passanger's seat! I noticed the fanny was around for a reason. I found that odd. I checked it out! Would you believed that this douche thing made it round! That tells me he is CLEANING HIS ASS at other gay's place! Hmm, it could be from last night. He went to have a drink/party at his friend's on Normandie. Wonders never ceased me! He was spreading his ass for others men! He is a DISEASE INFECTED SLUT! Some people online told me i should call the Health Department to report his ass! Perhaps, he would be arrested in the process too!

I picked up my mail at the post office. Believed me, I was in no hurry to get home! Finally, the Power issue of Entertainment Weekly arrived. I figured it would be out soon. I felt it in my bones. I always looked forward reading the Power Issue! It was something I could strive for in life; power to get away and stay on top! My favorite soap, Days Of Our Lives was on the front cover of Soap Opera Digest magazine! the headline was "Happy DAYS Are Here Again!" Hmm, I wished it was true for me! i only see darkness all around me!

Once again, I could relate to Days on many levels! AMEN! The teens runs wild in Salem over the the summer into the fall; the fans didn't like the teens that much. We wanted our favorties be back upfront! To me, Migule runs wild for a long time ACTING LIKE A TEEN; drugs, sex and booze became his best friend. The Days favorites and I was place on the back burner to showcase the teens! The only good news for me that John, Marlena, Bo, hope, Sami and Austin would be back on the front burner! It's about time too! We were so sick of the teens taking over Salemn! This past summer was too much with the teens! I like the teens, but enough is enough! And, yes, I was still on the back burner, an train wreck from hell! I can't wait till my time in the sun comes back to me!

Then there was Nicole Walker. She had one hell of a summer too! Her father was released from prison! Paul went on a treasure hunt with, you guessed right, the teens all summer long on a island. She realized that he was there and the adults fly down there in the storm! To make a long story short, she was hell bent of saving the teens. Her past caught up with her. Paul has a faced off with John, Brady, and Nicole. Paul hold Nicole with a knife. Jan shot him in self defence to save her life. Paul ended up back in the hospital, more gun shot wounds again! Earlier Nicole shot him too; Paul manage to survive! Paul want to see her; Nicole vowed to killed him on the operation bed, "Die, daddy, die." He gained strength and strangled her with his hands! The police saved her. Paul died on the floor! Nicole was please that she help him to his death! He would never abuse her or anybody else!

I was like Nicole on the level! I have the same emotions about Miguel! I want him DEAD at any cost. He doesn't deserve to live! Nicole and I could only hope, wishful thinking! Since Nicole got her wish, I was still waiting for my wish, "Die, Miguel, die!" The sooner he dies, I would be better off like Nicole Walker! We both see right through Paul and Miguel. We knew what they was like and they would never change for the better! For Nicole, nobody believed her about how cold her father was! Brandon finally saw the light, Faye contunied to defend him! For me, I was in a similair boat. Nobody sees the alcoholic in him; I wouldn't go ahead and tell his family!

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.