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#7

1983 AIDS Fear
By Kazz Falcon

1983 AIDS Fear
I just learned that I’m HIV positive, dear
Trust me, it’s a lot harder than I thought
I must face the tough road
HIV people got it rough
Most wouldn’t live pass 1983
I had lots of emotions
There weren’t enough medications out there
We was in the most fearful times with AIDS
Who knows?
In the year of 1990, I could work again
Right now, I was too sick to do anything
Only if we had hope
Hope for the future
Then again, there wasn’t much hope
We were dying off like flies
I was trying to fight off the 1983 AIDS fear


Today’s HIV
By Kazz Falcon

Today’s HIV
We were living longer unlike 1983
There were enough medications
There were many types to choose from
We should take the right ones
Our t cells and the viral load was under control
We were healthy
We can go back to work
Let’s plan to have a production life
So fulfilling and, yet, so satisfying
We could plan for our future
We should stay away from sex, drugs and alcohol
We would be able to live longer
Today’s HIV


Stupid Person
By Kazz Falcon

Stupid Person
How dumb can someone get?
I think his thumb is up his ass
He should go back to class
He would get smart again
He could be a genius
Yeah, right
The sight of him really made me sick
By his stupidness, I was so ticked off
He still haven’t lick his wounds
He was hanging on to his alcoholic lover
He must be banging his head on the wall by now
I thought he want to get ahead in life
How could he?
He listened to stupid MISGUIDED advice
“Stay with your lover if you love him.”
Look at him, he was homeless
Stupid person


Misguided Advice
By Kazz Falcon

Misguided advice
Hello, are you trying to ruin my life?
(Which you did, by the way!)
I kid you not
You pretended to care for me
I tended to him after the latest car accident
I ended up being homeless
I can’t care or love an alcoholic
I dare to admit,
His excessive drinking pushed me away
Leaving him to be happy is the way
You claimed, “Stay with him if you love him!”
I proclaimed on the web, “He is a alcoholic!”
Look at me now, I am homeless
When he moved to his sister,
I was left out in the cold
I shouted, “He has the problem, not me!”
Please no more misguided advice


Why Am I Homeless?
By Kazz Falcon

Why am I homeless?
It’s because I am a druggie
It’s because I am an alcoholic
It’s because I am a gambler
It’s because I abused my lover
It’s because I was evicted from my apartment
It’s because I was mentally unstable
It could be any one of them
It was none of above
It was my lover’s fault
He was in a car accident, badly hurt
He lost the car, the job and the apartment
The dynamo effect ruined my life
All thanks to him and his drinking
I was pist off
I could pound my fist on him
The sound of being homeless wasn’t fair
I found myself to be alone in the world
Why am I homeless?


My Secret Life
By Kazz Falcon

My secret life
I lived a very comfortable life
I drove a luxury car and lived in a three bedroom house
I gave my family security and money
I was a loving boyfriend and father
Then, it all came crashing down
Someone wanted a tall order of Ecstasy
They money was on my mind
Greed was sitting in nicely
It feed me crazy thoughts,
I could have it all for my family
Wouldn’t you know it?
The undercover office arrested me
My life as a drug dealer went up in smoke
I was sentence to four years in prison
My girlfriend left me with my baby son
I got nothing from my secret life


Getting Away
By Kazz Falcon

Getting away
That’s what I need to do
I need a long break
Things were getting to me
I can’t even think straight
My boss wants to make a profit,
I was doing my best at work
The home life was hell,
My roomie made my life miserable
The lover doesn’t feel love by me,
I spent way too much time at the office
My mental state took a beating
I could take so much
All the problems I had
I’m getting away


Homeless
By Kazz Falcon

Homeless
I would do anything to get off the street
I should risk something big
I could be an alcoholic or a druggie
Which I am neither
It was either the street or a sober living place
Some friends really believed I was both
I just pretended to be one
It ended my homelessness for the time being
I bet you would do the same
The street wasn’t a place for me
I wouldn’t survive there
I know my limits
The street wasn’t one of them
Homeless


On The Bus
By Kazz Falcon

On the bus
I was going somewhere
Somewhere except the place I came from
Anywhere was fabulous
As long I don’t end up in the same dreadful place
It could be anywhere
I just want to travel to a new place
A life without an abusive lover is my dream
If he follows me, I would scream
So far, so good
There was no sign of him
I became farther away from the abuse
I came to a new town
On my knees, I fell down
I prayed
“I hope I lost him on the bus!”


Bible Study
By Kazz Falcon

Bible study
I was learning about the bible
I was earning something good,
A deep loving spirit filled relationship with God
I could understand him much better
I should become a better Christian
I discussed about the bible
There might be differences along the way
I had my opinions and beliefs
Reading the bible is such a relief
There would be arguments, much to Satan’s delight
The more I learn,
The more I become strong,
The more faith I would have in God
Only if I believe
Join a bible study


Betrayal by The Pastor
By Kazz Falcon

Betrayal by the pastor
A popular pastor did something awful
For many years, he deceived us
All those times, he lived a wicked life
How could he done that to his wife and us?
He stole money from our church
He slept around behind his wife’s back
We wept
He kept on till he slip up
The whole town knows
We looked up to him, a father figure
Our kids were confused
He abused our trust
We still need to keep our faith in God
Betrayal by the pastor


The Ex Lover
By Kazz Falcon

The ex lover
I still had his picture in my wallet
My new lover was mad as hell
It’s sad when he believed I still love my ex
I don’t love him the way I used to
The new man has all my love, attention and devotion
He has nothing to worry about
It’s something he must have faith in
I was doing my best to forget my ex
I won’t betray my new lover
I would stay true to our love
I still carried my ex’s picture in my wallet
So I can sit on his face
It’s to remind me of where I felt the pain
The ex lover


Attempted Murder
By Kazz Falcon

Attempted murder
He tried to kill his little sister
She cried for help
He kept on chasing her with a knife
She wept for her life
A car pulled up in the driveway
He done some fast thinking
He hopes the past would stay in the past
Fear of being caught,
He put the knife in her hand
The chase was on once again
A door slammed open
The mother looked in awe
She couldn’t believed what she saw
The sister explained, “He started it!”
The mother took the knife away and punished her
He got off scott free for the attempted murder


A Blank Mind
By Kazz Falcon

A blank mind
I can’t think of nothing
Anything would do
Something I could write about
The writer’s block is a bout
It could go on days, weeks or, even years
What can I do?
I might have run out of ideals
I know there are many things to write about
I must put my thoughts on paper
That was a good start
Something was bound to grab my attention
Nothing would come out of a blank mind


The Real Queen
By Kazz Falcon

The real queen
Who is it?
I am, oh yes, I am
I may not live in a castle
I may not have servants
I may not be born in a royal family
Oh yes, I was born a queen
I don’t need a crown
I don’t need the riches
I don’t need a country
Because I was royalty all around
It may sounds dumb to you
I really don’t care
All I care is for respect
That’s all I ever wanted
Bow down to the real queen


There He Is
By Kazz Falcon

There he is
Where have he been? I wondered
Here he is coming
Somewhere he disappeared again
Anywhere he may turn up
Out there without him, I felt so alone
Nowhere I could find him
I couldn’t bare the thought of losing him
I cared so deeply for him
I dared him to be mine forever
I was scared I lost him in the crowd
He stared at my worried eyes from afar
I ran up to him
We hugged for a long time
He pulled out a diamond ring
It renewal my faith in real love
There he is
 

A Father’s Love
By Kazz Falcon

A father’s love
His daughter wanted him to move back home
An important message sent by a white dove
She didn’t want a long distance relationship
She wants to know him better
He was so moved by the letter
This Friday, he would go on a long journey
He already had a job line up
A new home await for him
They would bond the moment he arrives
He can’t wait for the long drive
The daughter wants a father’s love


A Mother’s Hatred
By Kazz Falcon

A mother’s hatred
She loves her kids a great deal
She wouldn’t let their father hurt them again
He abandoned them at a young age
She felt like he belongs in a cage
She couldn’t get over her rage
It was eating her alive
It took a beating on her life
Raising three kids was too much sometimes
Their safety and happiness comes first
He was a jerk for leaving them
The mother’s boyfriend was a wonderful stepfather
He replaced their father in the kid’s heart
Her resentment was still there
So is a mother’s hatred


Angry Norm
By Kazz Falcon

Angry Norm
Watch out for the storm
He shouted out loud,
“I can’t get a freaking job!”
He could turn into Hurricane Bob
He was under educated
He was over educated
Which one was he?
All he wants is a good paying job
He wants to go up in life
If not, suicide may come knocking
I hope not
He is a sweet loving guy
Angry Norm


Affair
By Kazz Falcon

Affair
I looked into his eyes
The same look my lover used to have
I saw his wonderful smile
It have been awhile
Since I saw my lover’s smile
I was drawn to this affair
Isn’t it fair?
I tried to walk up the stairs,
Knowing the danger lurks in the apartment
Through alcohol, my lover is angry
I can’t go on like this
I must feel good inside
To escape the abusive reality
I need this affair


A Spirited Lady
By Kazz Falcon
Dedicated to Rebecca Street

A spirited lady
She is sweet, loving and uplifting
It really shows in her heart
She is tender and soft
She cares for everyone
People still remembers her from The Young And The Restless
Someone complimented her as Cricket’s mother
She was grateful and saddened by the news
He lost three brothers to AIDS
Her portrayer on the soap touched him
She played the first daytime HIV+ character
It means the world for the both of them
She was realistic in the Y&R role
It was sad when she died
I was glad she still touches people around the world
She was on the soap in the late 1980’s
Indeed, she is so special to all
She is as real as they come
A spirited lady


Addicted To The Web
By Kazz Falcon

Addicted to the web
I could be born as a spider
Wouldn’t you know it?
I couldn’t have those eight legs
I shouldn’t be spending so much time on the web
It’s easy to lost track of time
There are many things to do
Chat, email, cruise, games and the 411
That’s basically the whole web
Where are those insects I dreamt about?
I was getting hungry
Hmm, I must search on the web
Then again, I can start my own web
It could attracts those yummy insects
I wasn’t going anywhere soon
I had time on my hands
Addicted to the web


My Ex Boyfriend
By Kazz Falcon

My ex boyfriend
What a low life scum
Why couldn’t he be a bum instead?
He had so much going on for us
He was in college and had a wonderful job
I wanted our baby son to have a role model
Hell, no
He threw his future and his son’s in the trash
All for what?
Being a drug dealer is a bad example
I don’t want our son to grow up around drugs
Never again
I believed he was a club promoter
No, it was another lie
At night, he made his most money from the drugs
I hope he rot in prison where he belongs
He would not see our son ever again
From the drugs to prison, that my ex boyfriend


A Changed Man
By Kazz Falcon

A changed man
Oh how wrong I sold drugs
I was old enough to know better
I told my ex girlfriend the truth from the jail
She was hurt and furious
I let her and our beautiful son down
I was sorry
Yet, she was unable to forgive me
Losing everything, mostly my family, taught me
I can’t be a drug dealer anymore
I put them in danger from the dirty dealings
It angered me for being a fool
I want my family back
She can’t trust me, I don’t blame her
I must complete my prison term
From the days in prison, I was a changed man


The Dragon
By Kazz Falcon

The dragon
He was once of the fierce creatures I ever love
He was friendly at first
His kindness captured my heart
We became lovers
I wondered if I was insane back then
Could fast love works?
The black cloud came forth
I was trapped in a troublesome relationship
His drinking increased gotten out of control
I had no place to escape
He never did hit me or be violent with me
My only peace was on the web
I wanted so much to be a spider
The web was a safety net
He was in a car accident and lost everything
We went our separate ways
But our love dreadfully stayed intact
The dragon


Earth Always Endures
By Kazz Falcon

Earth Always Endures
Not quite like hell
Life is one big fire burning
Souls are being lost
That’s why we need Jesus Christ
Heaven on earth is more like it
Earth always endures


Life Is…
By Kazz Falcon

Life is
Happiness and sadness
Life is
Positive and negative
Life is
Being alive and death
Life is
A baby and a grown up
Life is
Being careful and living dangerous
Life is
Choices and mistakes
Life is
Love and lust
Life is
Friends and enemies
Life is
War and peace
Life is
Young and old
Life is
Hurtful and healing
Life is
Strong and weak
Life is
The truth and lies
Life is
Wealthy and poor
Life is
Good and bad
Life is
Eating and starving
Life is
Laughing and crying
Life is
What you make the most out of it


Feeling Good
By Kazz Falcon
Dedicated to Gary Gonzales

My sweet dear friend wrote me a poem

“You are for all to admire
Truly everyone’s hearts desire
Your giving and kindness was something odd
Your sharing and caring was a gift from God
Please be happy and don’t focus on gay
Think good thoughts, good things will come your way”

It was good to be known like that
It was even better being famous
My closest friends was a part of that
I was moved so much that tears came from my heart
He was like a father to me
He gave me everything in the whole world
He made my world much better to enjoy life
He was a good friend indeed
The closest thing to family was my friends
They gave you all the support, love and understanding
It filled the void in my heart
 I hadn’t seen my family in ages
Two families was better than one
Gary’s poem made me feeling good about life
I rushed out to shared it with friends
The impression on their faces made his poem extra special
It will forever remain in my heart
A motherly friend cried in joy and sorrow
We would miss him deeply when he dies
His poem was our treasure to cherish
Good friends never died
They stayed in our hearts to keep in touch with our memories
Feeling good made us share the best things in life with friends
And the poem Gary wrote was one of them


Pitch Black
By Kazz Falcon

I opened my eyes
I can’t see anything
Darkness was all around me
I got out of bed
I tried to turn on the light
Damn, the lamp doesn’t work
I walked through the darkness
I stumbled to the floor
I hurt my knee slightly
I still couldn’t see anything
I feared for the worst
I hope it wasn’t true
I can’t go blind, I just can’t
I can’t lose my sight
I crawled back to bed
I looked at the clock
Damn, the batteries wasn’t working either
Then again, I may be going blind
I can’t see anything at all
I turned on the TV, nothing happened
It dawned on me
The storm knocked out the power


The Prom
by Kazz Falcon

I set my sights on the crown
It's rightfully mine to begin with
I was living proof that I am the queen
It gave me a good shot
This queen wasn't greedy
I wanted to please my every need
I ceased the opportunity
I ran for Miss Queen at my school
My gay friends thought it was cool
We finally had a real queen to root for
Some people don't give a hoot
I came in living color
I walked on the stage
They stared at me
I heard the whispers, "Beware of the flamboyant queen."
The crown was too important for my gay friends and I
Down on the floor, some peeps ran out of the door
I gave everything I got
I performed RuPaul's hit, "Supermodel Of The World"
They were having the time of their lifes
They yelled "We want a real queen, not some cheap imitation!"
I felt so good inside
Everyone danced their asses off
They announced the King and the Queen
The real queen was here
No one could steal my moment
The first time in my life, I was on top of the world
I was popular as never before
I was ever so gay
It made my night
I wouldn't trade it for the world
"Long live the queen!" they chanted
This queen belongs with the crown
 

Copyright 2005 Kazz Falcon

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.