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By Kazz Falcon

By now, some of you know that Miguel have a alcohol/drug problem. This is not about me. This is not about his family. This is about him and his problems.

8/27/04, Friday - Miguel called me on the phone. He mentioned that the night before he CONFESSED to Marcelia and her family about his drug problem; only the kids doesn’t know. He demanded that they can’t tell his other family members. Olga, are you listening?

I really believed it is a big mistake. They must tell everyone in his family. It wasn’t fair for either Olga and me, personally if they keep the so called secret from the rest of the family. Olga and I have friction; she doesn’t like me for “spreading hateful lies about Miguel in person and the web.”
Marcelia, please tell the whole family. Everyone will be better off, mostly Miguel, Olga and me. Then, Olga will stop believing I am the bad guy. Last year and few weeks ago, I told Olga in a letter/post card that he has a drinking problem.

Olga confronted him about the letter. Miguel covered up the truth to her. She believed HIS LIES!

Few months later, Miguel mentioned to me that Olga WANTED an apology from me.

Well, Olga. Sorry, but you are NEVER gonna to get one from me. All this time, I was telling the truth and Miguel lied to you.

The fact is I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE!  What do I mean by that? Miguel alcohol/drug problem is no longer my burden. After all, Marcelia and her family knows the truth!

Olga, therefore, you can’t see me as the VILLAIN! I have one thing to say to you.


Olga, I won’t say sorry about his drinking. But, honestly, I ole your family and you an apology for SOMETHING ELSE. Yes, I lied about the trip.

Sometimes, we need to lie. Why I lied? Because Miguel will track me down. I didn’t want any part of him whatsoever. His drinking DROVE ME AWAY!

Once again, this is not about his family or me. It is about Miguel himself.

It is best that everyone knows about his drinking, including the kids. The friction with Olga and me will FINALLY end.                

Like the old saying, the truth will set you free.

Miguel promised Marcelia that he will stop using drugs. Honestly, I really don’t see that happening. I have been around Miguel long enough to know better. He made me homeless. October 2001, he was driving drunk. He lost the car, his job and his apartment.....oops, our apartment. December 2001, He moved back to Olga’s and left me on the street.

Olga, are you listening? I have every right to be MAD at him. No one have the right to be MAD at me, Olga. Got that? Yes, the truth hurts.

Do you know what? I wasn’t angry at all. I was grateful to be homeless. I was FINALLY free from his drinking problem. I wasn’t happy living with him.

Thank God! I was homeless for six months in early 2002. God gave me a much needed break. September 11, 2002 - he gave me my own Section 8 apartment on Waterloo.
I am MUCH BETTER off without Miguel in my life. After today, Miguel may not be in the life any more. As long he continues drinking and doing drugs, I don’t want him in my life.

My life with Miguel is over since the day he made me homeless. I really don’t need him in my life nor his family. I am doing better without his family and him.

You need to confront him as the WHOLE family. Some certain family is hurting him and themselves in the long run. Vice versa. Some family believed I was lying. That’s right, Olga!

You ALL need to come together, including the kids, to help him AT ANY COST.

Please help him before it’s too damn late. Death may be lurking.

This is a fair warning. Miguel wants to move to Palm Springs. That really tells me that he want NO HELP at all. Honestly, Miguel is RUNNING AWAY from his problems.

Marcelia’s family haven’t see Miguel in three full years, nor me. We lost many years without Miguel and without each other. Do you want it to be another three years, five years, seven years or something else will happen like suicide?

His life is really out of control. Few days ago, even Marcelia’s family noticed it. I didn’t even to tell them! They learned on their own. So badly, I wanted to tell them in the post card, the same post card I sent to Olga.

At this very moment, he don’t want to stop. He doesn’t want to let go of the past. He covered up his pain by drinking and drugs. All this time, he really believed that his family doesn’t love him because he is gay. Even the friction with Keiko and their mother made him to drink and do drugs. I, myself, believed they don’t love him.

I don’t expect for Miguel to get help any time soon. He haven’t hit rock bottom yet. Yes, he tasted it a few times already. Yet, he keep on depending on some friends for help.

June 2004 - I tried my best to help him. I took him in for a while. Man, that was the biggest mistake of my life. I was hoping he already change for the better. In reality, I was just fooling myself.  Sometimes, he will come home drunk from the clubs. I couldn’t take his drinking any longer. I wasn’t happy living with him. It was a living nightmare. So, I kicked him out. He left on June 13, 2004, Sunday

Few days later, he called me. He begged me for another chance. I was STUPID ENOUGH to let him to come back. The freaking problem started again!            

August 2004 - One Saturday night, my friends and I saw him drunk on the street. He was waiting for me to come home. I finally made up my mind. He will not stay with me anymore. Later, I found out from some neighbors that the police escorted him out of the complex because he was drunk. He left an alcohol bottle behind.

The next few days, I didn’t talk to him at all. I was really angry at him. Thanx to him, I could have lost my place. He will have made me homeless AGAIN! He didn’t take a shower, had any clothes on him or money! Hey! Somebody needs to give him tough love. Once again, he tasted rock bottom. I refused to talk to him. I won’t even let him to pick up some clothes.

He found a place to crash. Hmm, he was depending on a friend. What’s that? Oh, yes. Co-dependency. It was another sign of alcoholism. A week later, he finally picked up his things on a Friday evening. He was a big mess. We didn’t talk much.

He was in the restroom. I put a letter in the side pocket of his place. Later, he found the letter. I grabbed it from him. I didn’t want him to read it right now. I put the letter in my shorts. He was in the restroom again. This time around, I put the letter on top of his clothes in his bag. He rested for a while on my bed. He watched TV for a little while.

He was ready to go to the bus stop. I offered to walk him. He can’t carried the two bags by himself. We waited for Bus 304. The bus came. I put the bag on the bus. He mentioned he will call me when he get home. I stayed on the bus till the next stop. I went home. A while later, he called.

Much later in the night, he called again and THANK ME for the letter. He knows he has a drinking problem. The next day, we chatted for a while. I mentioned I can’t help him in any way. I was sick and tired of his drinking. He mentioned that he need to help himself first. He can’t get the help he needs. He doesn’t want any help with the problem.

He loves drugs/drinking more than he loves us. ALCOHOL IS A DRUG TOO.

Miguel, now you know why I don’t love you any more. There was no way to love you. Your drinking ended our love long time ago. It DESTROYED our love AND my life. Your love is not worth the pain and suffering. I am much better without you in my life. Good riddance, Miguel.

The rest is up to you, Miguel’s family. This is about Miguel, not us.

This is the best time to have an intervention. What are you going to do?

                                    Kazz Falcon

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.