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The Cock
By Kazz Falcon

The cock
He looked at the clock
It wasn’t time yet
In his mind, he was set
The morning sun was a clue
The sky became blue
It was time to wake up everyone
Far and near, it could be anyone
He was the hens’ favorite heartthrob
He loves his job

My Father
By Kazz Falcon

My father
What can I say?
I hardly knew that man
He died thirty years ago in May 1973
There was a big hole in my life
I could say my childhood was terrible
Not everyone have both parents
Some aren’t that lucky - divorce
It was meant to be
Some good came out of his death
My mother didn’t know that she was pregnant
She had a baby girl on New Year’s Day
It was truly a new beginning for us
The baby was a blessing
We have something to remember my father
Life or death can change someone’s life
God works in mysterious ways
My father

My Mother
By Kazz Falcon

My mother
It is hard to explain our relationship
It could be good or bad
She does have other children by my father
BUT, I was quite different from the rest
I knew I was gay since I was a small kid
I haven’t tell her till I became an adult
Our relationship changed overnight
She tried to change me into a straight man
Not by setting up dates with women
She tended to push me away or control my life
If I don’t have a women’s love, I may seek out a women
Nah, it didn’t happen that way
I am still gay
My happiness comes first
I wouldn’t give up my gay life
It means the world to me
To this day, we hardly talk to each other
We were no longer in the same state
No family would come in between of my happiness and me
We lost contact with each other years ago
That really sums up my relationship with my mother

Hypocrite Mother
By Kazz Falcon

From a sweet loving mother to something completely opposite
Where did the relationship go?
Perhaps, to hell
I didn’t change at all
I am the same son I always was
I didn’t ask to be gay
It just happen
I have no control over the gayness
Yes, I called her a hypocrite
Well, it is easy to answer
In my youth, we had a lesbian couple living across the street from us
Of course, we became good friends with them
We became family too
They had kids with the same age like us
We hang out a lot
We were even there for them when one of them ended up in the hospital
Her lover’s ex husband hit her with the car
They moved away to another part of town
We tried to stay in contact with them
We lost contact; they moved so many times
Years later, I finally come out of the closet
She didn’t love me as much any more
I knew it would happen.
So, I did the next best thing for me
I moved away without telling my family
Why should I tell them?
I was the black sheep
I didn’t get the same love like my sibs did
There is one thing I don’t understand
How come it is okay to have gay friends, not a gay son?
She didn’t had a problem with them being lesbians
Why me?
Hypocrite mother

New Life In A City
By Kazz Falcon

My lover has an opportunity for a new job
We both were excited about moving
He would make more money
Of course, I have to look for another job.
We need to move within a few days
He found out about it today
His boss felt he was right for the job
We didn’t expect that job at all
We was comfortable living in Hollywood
We was happy with our lifes
We had wonderful friends too
We have to rebuild our lifes in Denver
We must sell our furniture in a short notice
Maybe, we could put it in the storage
Who knows?
We may need it again.
Hmm, or we could sub rent our apartment
Then again, we don’t have that much time left
What to do? What to do?
If we knew, he would get the new job
We could have did it a lot sooner
We don’t have the time now
All we know, we need to make the best of it
An opportunity like these doesn’t come that often
It was too good to pass it up
Life couldn’t get any better than this
Couldn’t it?

Couldn’t It?
By Kazz Falcon

We settled into our new place quite well
We have been here for a few months
Everything was going smoothly for us
Life couldn’t be more perfect
He loves his new job
I couldn’t find anything yet
I kept on trying my best
My lover doesn’t mind
We could afford to live on one income
He claimed I don’t have to work
We gained new friends in the apartment building
We hang out with them; the movies, the mall, the clubs and more
Something struck me
Deep down, there was something missing in our lifes
We can’t place it
Yeah, our lifes was different
We were happy
Don’t get me wrong
Denver was a wonderful city
There were many things to do
Our lifes was active
But, there was something else
Damn, what was it?
We had everything we had in Hollywood
God, please help me
Why do we felt like we have a big hole in our lifes?
Our lifes were perfect as it can be
What could it be?

What Could It Be?
By Kazz Falcon

What could it be?
We searched for answers low and high
We ended up empty handed
We still couldn’t place it
For some odd reason, we had a big hole in our lifes
My unemployment couldn’t be it
We didn’t have a problem with it in the beginning
I wasn’t working when we fell in love
Of course, I was going to school
School took up most of my time
My lover wanted me to get a good education
An education was very important to the both of us
Something wasn’t right for us
I felt it deep down in my soul
I knew we didn’t give up our happiness
We had the life we want in Denver
The big hole has a profound affect
It was really driving us crazy
God, please give us a sign
You could tell us
Something was missing from our lifes
What could it be?

Dream Realization
By Kazz Falcon

I woke up from my ongoing dream
I couldn’t see where I was
It felt so familiar, but I was stuck there
I didn’t want to wake up at all
I kept on having the same dream all over again
It got stronger and stronger
I had an urge to solve the dream
I couldn’t find any answers in the dream book
What was the meaning?
Hmm, I figured to solve it was dream again
I hoped the dream would become clear
We wanted to know the truth behind the dream
I went in a deep sleep, alone in bed
My lover didn’t want to distract me
I could see the dream again
All around me was darkness
I couldn’t walk straight
I ran into some things along the way
I traveled many miles to get where I was
The closer I get; the urge became stronger
It got a hold on me
It dragged me to somewhere familiar
Things was clearer to me
Old friends was dining with me
I was at our old place in Hollywood
A faceless man showed up on the balcony
He said, “Home is where the heart is.”
I repeated it once more
“Home is where the heart is.”
Home…home…home, Denver, Hollywood, Denver
My lover heard me mumbled in my sleep
He tried to shake me up, but I wouldn’t bulge
He splashed water on my face
I looked at him; wishing he was in my dream
I explained the dream to him
He was anxious to know the faceless man
He was the key of the dream
It dawn on me that I was living with my man in Hollywood
Suddenly, he said, “Home is where the heart is.”
He was the faceless man
I was at peace with my lover
Denver doesn’t feel home at all
It wasn’t right for us
We made a huge mistake of moving to Denver
We knew what we got to do to make things right
The dream was a sign from God
We were on the way back to our real home
Hollywood was always a dream

By Kazz Falcon

I was lusting for more
Something I couldn’t stop doing
I got to have it whenever
I got to do it
I was in the need for it
I was speeding ahead to self-destruct
I was feeding by the addiction
An addiction I can’t handle
It always comes back to me
I felt a need for it
It doesn’t last that long
I wanted more time
It was destroying my life altogether
It was a ploy to ruin my life
I was toying with my addiction
I blasted into space
I lasted till I had my fun in the sun
I was foolish enough to fall for the addiction
I may not even make it out alive
My life was at stake
Friends warned me
“Wake up and see the light,
Forsake the addiction before it’s too late.”
Tears shouted from the eyes
I wanted out to get help
It was one rough bout to handle alone
Fallen tears made me tough and strong
I threw the bed habit out of my life
The addiction was coming to an end
It sent me a journey back home where I belong
Addiction, so long

Losing Control
By Kazz Falcon

I was wrong about the drugs
I couldn’t stop doing them
It took over my life
I thought I had it under control
It sought out my vulnerable
I ought to know better
It brought me a lifetime of hell
Damn, why was I so stupid?
I figured the drugs wouldn’t get me down
Oh, how much I frown!
The tiny problems crept up to big problems
Once in a while, I missed paying some bills
Then, the further the drugs got to me
I couldn’t pay my rent a few times
My life was a total disaster
An ounce of weakness didn’t stop the drugs
I let it happen
I had no one to blame, but me
I need to take responsible for my actions
The drugs kept on picking on the sore spots
It torpedoed me straight into living hell
The problems became greater than me
Damn, I was such a fool!
I don’t need drugs to have a fun time
Well, I learned my lesson the hard way
Losing Control

Feeling Left Out
By Kazz Falcon

My dear friends
I tell you a true story
I hate feeling left out
It tore me apart; I wanted to shout
I feared that nobody want me around
Please say a little pray for me
Who else to play with other than friends?
Strangers was no way to be a part of a group
Danger lies ahead into all sorts of troubles
Troubles I may never get out
My friends did their own thing without me
I sang the blues in a jail cell
I failed to realized that…
He was an undercover cop trying to sell drugs
Well enough, I took the bait
He booked me on charges of soliciting
Now, I looked to my friends for help
How come you were never there when I need you?
More ever before, I was scare that I may never get out
Where was my friend, who takes good care of me?
I was in no mood to play games
All I want was to go home and be a part of a real group
Sometimes, I felt left out of things I don’t do with friends
Look what happened to me with the strangers
The police arrested me
I sang the blues
Please bring the bail money
I want to set sail on the ocean with friends
The last thing I was left out from the start
The hurt cast my eyes to cry
The fast lane ended me up in jail
A place I have never wanted to be
I learned I face life in prison
My friends was the ace in the hole
I had no one else to turn to
I was so alone and feeling left out

By Kazz Falcon

What is lust?
Is it something that God made up to take place of love?
I think NOT!
They were two different things
They were just the opposite of each other
Love was one on one
It was the unity of two people joining through God
It was more serious than lust
Lust damaged the body, the mind, the spirit and the soul
It brought destruction to people’s lifes
Diseases among the people, troubles arises and untrusting lovers
Love takes control of lust
Let God conquer the lustful thoughts
Your miserable life of no love will end
Love comes from God, the true love of everyone
Lust isn’t love
It truly contains meaningless sex with people
You really don’t love
You don’t have the desire of real love
Take it from me
One-night stands have no love but to fulfill people’s sexual needs and desire
Real love counts the most for people in love, not in lust
Don’t fool around with list versus love
It was a losing battle
You would get burn from it
Let love comes from God
The right person would come along

Lusty Eyes
By Kazz Falcon

Lusty eyes
Who do we seek tonight?
We had all night to find sex
My lover was away on business
He wouldn’t know about it
Hmm, we could go to the bathhouse
Perhaps, the sex club
Damn, there was one problem thou
I had no money on me, nor a credit card
We shared the same checking account
Those places were out of the question
I could go clubbing
The again, I need money to drink
There was one thing left to do
I drove around till someone interesting comes along
Don’t fail me, lusty eyes

Ending Love
By Kazz Falcon

I picked up this sexy man
We went back to my place
My lover wouldn’t be back in a couple of days
We stripped down and jumped in the bed
He has the most beautiful body I ever lay my hands on
He was smooth, blond, blue eyes, fabulous smile and very muscular
I had an awesome time with the hunk
We went from the bed to the floor to the kitchen to the shower and back to bed
We were pretty exhausted
We fell asleep in each other’s arms
By that time, my lover showed up from his business trip
I wasn’t expecting him to come home early
He was excited that the deal was done within two days
He came home with flowers for his bee
But I had extra honey in bed
He buzzed to our bedroom
My fling stung him straight to his heart
His shouting waked us
I baked our love to a burning crisp
The blonde suddenly put on his cloths
He mentioned he didn’t know I had a lover
My lover wasn’t furious at him, but he believed him
It wasn’t the first time I did it
The blonde left us alone
The lover turned his attention to me
He couldn’t believe I had sex with another man again
The last time, it almost killed our love
I convinced him otherwise
Our love was strong to overcome anything
This time, he wouldn’t look at me
He got a suitcase from the closet and started to pack
I wondered where was he going
He gave me a stern look
“I’m not going anywhere! You are! Get out of my house and life!”
I pleaded with him to let me stay with him
He was tone-deaf to the loud screeching music in his ears
To him, that music was ending love

Love Costs
By Kazz Falcon

Love costs
My lover gave me some money in an envelope
He didn’t have time to go to the bank
He was running late for his job at City Walk
I took the money home with me
Tomorrow, I went to his place early
He expected his money in the morning
Much to my surprise, I had a bad feeling
Yes, I had over $500 in cash on me
If I wasn’t careful, someone may rob me
So far, so good
No one was suspicious on the subway
They hardly know me
I got off the train and headed upstairs
The bad feeling wouldn’t go away
Damn, would someone notice how nervous I was?
$500 was a lot to carry on me
I hurried along to his place
The bad feeling got stronger and stronger
It became overwhelmed that I need some time by myself
I went back to the Hollywood/Highland mall
The bad feeling wasn’t that strong anymore
I figured that nobody would rob me
I was in board daylight and safe
I made tracks to his place once again
It came back stronger as ever
I don’t want to run away from the feeling
If someone robs me, it was meant to be
I need to face the fear
I used my key to get in the building
Once inside, I didn’t feel safe at all
The feelings troubles me
I knocked on his door
There was no answer
I knocked again
Still, there was no answer
I was about to leave when….
I heard a breathing noise coming inside the place
I didn’t know what to make of it
It suddenly dawn on me
What if my lover was having trouble breathing?
My God! What could I do?
Should I call 911?
Should I get the apartment manager?
Should I break down the door?
I made up my mind
I unlocked the door with my key
Then, the unthinkable happened
Someone robbed me of love
Trust could cost even more
I was $500 richer
Love costs

My Birthday
By Kazz Falcon

My birthday was a very special day
I celebrated my new age with love ones
My friends sang “Happy Birthday To You.”
We ate cake and ice cream
I blow out the candles for a wish
A wish I can’t say out loud
I opened the presents
People saw my face glow bright
It was right to say, “Thank you.”
I shared my birthday with family and friends
They were so near to my heart
Tears has fallen from my eyes
It means the world to me
I was moving up in the years
I loved to get older
I can’t stay young forever
I may want to
I wasn’t the quite the same
The years were taking a toll on me
Another year flew by
We came upon another birthday

Living Alone
By Kazz Falcon

Living Alone
I can’t stand that stone
I felt empty inside
I tried to hide from misery
I had nobody to talk to
I need somebody
Loneliness came upon me
I seek a roommate
Please!  No freaks allowed
This place has been so bleak
Speak up, somebody
I was nobody special
I was a regular guy
My last roommate disgusts me
The police busted him for using drugs
All I want is to share my place with someone
I truly care for a people’s person
Someone like myself
A person I can live with
Full of happiness and lots of fun
Why should I be living alone?

Disappeared Into The Night
By Kazz Falcon

Disappeared Into The Night
I was beaten from a fight
The sight of things got to me
My lover was a psychopath
I did my math
I kid you not
I was hot on his trail
I feared the worse has happen
Hear me, I was deadly afraid of him
It’s so clear
A psychopath will do anything destruction
Something I want to put a stop to
Right now, I can’t do anything
Except wait and see
I must accept that fact
I trusted things weren’t that bad
I disappeared into the night

By Kazz Falcon

I wasn’t made for disappointments
They doesn’t set well with me
They broke my heart every time it has a chance to
Tears choke down on my knees
I had a hard time swallowing defeat
I pouted like a small kid lost his toy
I shouted for things to go my way
Which wasn’t much to say
I lay down on my bed till further notice
It got me in a foul mood
The soul wasn’t too please
I was too depressed to do something about it
My life messed up bad from right to left
The wife was sad about life is going for me
She called her dad to make things come alive
The latest fad was happening
The TV ad was a way to get what we want in life
I was glad my poems is reaching out
The people can relate to
They had a sound mind about their lives
They know they wasn’t alone
Disappointments were a pain in the ass
My happiness was the gain from my dreams

By Kazz Falcon

Winds breezes into our lifes whenever it want to
It has no control
It craved wherever it goes
Whether it’s North, South, East or West
Any way was more like it
It wasn’t like birds
It played for Mother Nature
It soared from many directions
It goes to faraway places we have never seen before
Bad weather changed it to dangerous winds
The fierce and charging affect it has everywhere
It knocked things over and destroyed property
We hide for cover in the underground shelter
The winds has it ride all over the place
Slowly, but surely, things went back to normal
It left no tracks behind
The wind was invisible
There were no wings about the winds
They wasn’t birds flying freely, controlling their directions
It has their own ways to follow, no wings to fly with

New Attitude
By Kazz Falcon

A sweet person turned into a monster
He has an attitude like a drag queen
What a rude person he turned out to be
He wasn’t the same person he once was, a fun loving person
The day came when he started to hang out with the wrong crowd
I banged my head into the pole
It led me to a conclusion
The land of drugs entered his life
He fallen deeper in the pool
He thought it was cool
To most people, it was a foolish thing a person could do
There was nothing I could do about it
I have to sit and wait till he learn his lesson
I want no part of him
He lost a good friend
The cost was the drugs in his life
I had a host of other friends to spend my time with
They lend their support and love toward me
I tended to do the same thing
I set my best foot forward
I walked into a full room of partying
We talked highly of each other
I was so intrigue and felt comfortable with them
I became a part of them, vice versa
I noticed something far across the room
There was doom in somebody’ eyes
Eyes I didn’t recognize
The face was completely covered with darkness
He raced up to me
It became clearer for all to see
My God! It was my old friend
I haven’t seen him in a couple of years
A tall order of tears spilt into crying
It broke down the tainted wall
He fell to his knees
He couldn’t bare the pain in his stomach
I picked up the pieces instantly
He was sick of the drugs messing up his life
In the nick of time, he kicked the drugs out of his life
The old attitude replaced the new attitude

Shooting For Stardom
By Kazz Falcon

I set that goal a long time ago
It was very hard to break into show business
I wanted to be the next Fred Astaire
I freaked so many people with my dancing
They didn’t believe I had a chance
I had a chance to live my dream
I danced out my heart for everyone
Lance loved every minute of it
I took the offer I couldn’t refuse
He offered a dance contract to tour with his company
He knew I was one of the best dancers around
I was a hard act to follow
Joy shouted from my mouth
Roy couldn’t believe it
I showed him the contract
I blew the dance teacher away
“How about that? I am your first superstar. You’re no longer in debt,” I said.
Roy became so gay and cried
One of his students finally made it to big time
His time finally arrived in the spotlight
He received a lifetime achievement for forty years of hard work
We lived our dreams by shooting for stardom

In Debt
By Kazz Falcon

What could I say?
I put all my hard earned money in my dream
I was excited about my first Broadway show
It wasn’t anything like that on Broadway before
The casting, the producer and the director were fabulous
Everything fell into their place
There was one slight problem
Even before the show start, I was already in debt
I haven’t told anyone yet
I didn’t want to let anyone down
They put their heart and soul in the show
I couldn’t break their hearts
We worked so hard
We put too much time and effort
Damn, what would I do?
I couldn’t bare the truth
I had a hard time with it
I hoped to God that the show would be a huge success
It would be a miracle itself
Everyone would still have jobs
The audience would keep on coming
The show must go on
How could it?
I was in debt

Broadway Show?
By Kazz Falcon

The debt laid heavy on my soul
We had a few days to go
I wasn’t getting that much sleep
I kept turning in the bed
I gasped for the last straw
It crushed my inner being
How could I let it go that far in debt?
I thought the show was worth it
I put a fortune in the show
Damn, the enthused opportunity just carried me away
I wanted to make everyone know I could handle the pressure
I was way over my head
It was my first shot at Broadway
It could be my last
I didn’t want to blow my chance
Then again, I could ruin it for everyone
They deserve to know the truth
It could make us or break us
It was time to tell them about the debt
Would the curtain open up for the Broadway show?

By Kazz Falcon

I don’t want to get that drunk
I was a punk for going over the limit
I dared to be foolish
My life was no longer a care
I stared at my beer, wanting more
I bared my troubles to the beer
I hope the problems would go away
The beer cheered me up a little while
I sat down at the bar, drunk
I zoomed off in the car
I was far away from home
Somebody got in the way while I drove too fast
I lasted till I ran into a building
The will to live wasn’t there
It made me ill to give up my life
A miracle occurred
A light appeared and showed me the truth
I heard him loud and clear
I had a drinking problem
Jesus was my saving grace
I had another chance to live
I danced in excitement
I committed myself to a rehab program
I received greetings to a sober life
I had a life without beer

In The Habit
By Kazz Falcon

These past few months, I was lazy
I hardly did anything
I mostly stay home and watch TV
I really don’t have an exciting life to live
It was so boring as hell
Even Hell was more exciting than me
My life has nothing to offer
I was out of work so long
I wasn’t hurting for money
I should be happy that I am living
But, I wasn’t happy
Life was passing me up
I felt like I wasn’t part of the world
No one noticed me
I was going nowhere
I put off lots of things, including my writing
It wasn’t a huge part of my life anymore
I just don’t care about anything
Why should I?
I wasn’t in the habit

Smooth Versus Smarts
By Kazz Falcon

I happened to fail some classes
I wasn’t that good in English or math
I hated those subjects
I felt I wasn’t that smart
They was hard classes
I got to pass those classes
My future relied on my good grades
I might as well quit school
Then again, I was a smooth talker
There was a certain girl who likes me
I could pretend I like Susan
She would do my homework for me
Why not I use her smarts?
She was getting what she wants - me
I wouldn’t mind spending time with her
For the time being, I would be hers
Of course, I would continue to see my girlfriend, Nancy
Susan can’t know about that
I was depending on her to help me pass the classes
The moment I pass my classes, I would dump the girl
Where is my phone?
I need to put my smart plan in motion

Smart Plan
By Kazz Falcon

My charm really worked on the smart girl, Susan
She didn’t suspect a thing at all
My girlfriend and I staged a fight in front of everyone.
Everyone believed we broke up
We fooled them pretty good
Susan felt sorry for me
I was proud of this plan
Some people thought I was that stupid!
Fools, they were bloody fools
They would see how smart I was
I would pass my classes with flying colors
That would shut them up for good
Nothing would ever stop me
Susan basically helped me every night
I should become an actor
I used my charm as an advantage
It worked marvelous
Soon, I would get good grades, thanks to my plan
There was one glitch thou
Would you believed jealousy from my Nancy?
I didn’t count on that
It was the furthest thing from my mind
I spent every waking moment with Susan
Nancy really hated it very much
She figured I wouldn’t spend all my time with Susan
Boy, we were both wrong
The exams was valuable in those classes

Nancy’s Jealousy
By Kazz Falcon

I don’t know where to begin
I thought I was helping out my boyfriend
He needed some help in some classes
I couldn’t help him
We weren’t in the same classes
There was a girl named Susan, who likes Tom
I didn’t like that one bit
She knows that too
I told her to leave my man alone
I believed she back down from him
Then the situation came up from nowhere
Tom was flunking in some classes
His parents demanded him to get some counseling
Of course, Susan was in the top of the class
Tom suggested Susan for help
I couldn’t stand that
She would use that to get close to him
God, I really hate that
Why her?
I don’t trust her at all
Tom persuaded me to go with it
She was the only help for him
I kept an eye on them
Boy, she still got it bad for him
Damned her!  Damned her to hell!
I wanted so badly to tell her off
She has no right to be with my man
God, Susan really gets on my nerves
Who cares if we staged a fight in front of everyone?
Tom was still my boyfriend
No other women would have him at all
He was all mine
I got to admit
I was so jealous of Tom & Susan

Kissing Cousins
By Kazz Falcon

My son was involved with someone special
I had a bad feeling about Ashley
Hmm, she was a bad girl
It wasn’t what you were thinking
Ashley was a sweet, loving girl we ever met
Who ever thought love could turn in something awful
She has the mostly gentle touch, beautiful hair and a good heart
I couldn’t describe her any better than that
She was perfect in every way for Brad
I could go on forever about her
A twisted fate entered in their perfect world
We hardly knew anything about her family
We always wondered about it
I noticed something different
Was it the way she dresses?
Was it the way she talks?
Was it the way she sings?
Was it the way she acts?
For a reason, her smile looked so similar
I knew I saw that smile somewhere before
I couldn’t place it
I knew deep down there was something was up
I decided to looked in Ashley’s past
I didn’t left any stones unturned
I didn’t stop till I was looking for
I met Ashley’s father for the first time
I felt I knew him somewhere
Once again, I couldn’t place it
I dug for answers
He mentioned he was raised in Dallas
His last name was Carey
Carey, that name sounds familiar to me
What was his mother’s maiden name?
“Ekert,” he replied
That name rung a bell
They went up to his attic
He mentioned he was adoption by The Carey Family
He gave me the same smile I saw on his daughter
He showed me old family pictures
I noticed the old lady’s smile in the picture
It dawn on me that she was my mother
God, the smile
I haven’t seen the smile in decades till Ashley
I completely forgotten that smile
I was beyond shock
He couldn’t believed it either
He finally found his long lost sister
He searched for his family for a long time
He wondered what was wrong
I told him everything
He was in disbelief
Our kids can’t get married today
They was “kissing” cousins

Copyright 2005 Kazz Falcon

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.