The Cock
By Kazz Falcon
The cock
He looked at the clock
It wasn’t time yet
In his mind, he was set
The morning sun was a clue
The sky became blue
It was time to wake up everyone
Far and near, it could be anyone
He was the hens’ favorite
heartthrob
He loves his job
My Father
By Kazz Falcon
My father
What can I say?
I hardly knew that man
He died thirty years ago in
May 1973
There was a big hole in my
life
I could say my childhood was
terrible
Not everyone have both parents
Some aren’t that lucky
- divorce
It was meant to be
Some good came out of his death
My mother didn’t know
that she was pregnant
She had a baby girl on New
Year’s Day
It was truly a new beginning
for us
The baby was a blessing
We have something to remember
my father
Life or death can change someone’s
life
God works in mysterious ways
My father
My Mother
By Kazz Falcon
My mother
It is hard to explain our relationship
It could be good or bad
She does have other children
by my father
BUT, I was quite different
from the rest
I knew I was gay since I was
a small kid
I haven’t tell her till
I became an adult
Our relationship changed overnight
She tried to change me into
a straight man
Not by setting up dates with
women
She tended to push me away
or control my life
If I don’t have a women’s
love, I may seek out a women
Nah, it didn’t happen
that way
I am still gay
My happiness comes first
I wouldn’t give up my
gay life
It means the world to me
To this day, we hardly talk
to each other
We were no longer in the same
state
No family would come in between
of my happiness and me
We lost contact with each other
years ago
That really sums up my relationship
with my mother
Hypocrite Mother
By Kazz Falcon
From a sweet loving mother
to something completely opposite
Where did the relationship
go?
Perhaps, to hell
I didn’t change at all
I am the same son I always
was
I didn’t ask to be gay
It just happen
I have no control over the
gayness
Yes, I called her a hypocrite
Why?
Well, it is easy to answer
In my youth, we had a lesbian
couple living across the street from
us
Of course, we became good friends
with them
We became family too
They had kids with the same
age like us
We hang out a lot
We were even there for them
when one of them ended up in the
hospital
Her lover’s ex husband
hit her with the car
They moved away to another
part of town
We tried to stay in contact
with them
We lost contact; they moved
so many times
Years later, I finally come
out of the closet
She didn’t love me as
much any more
I knew it would happen.
So, I did the next best thing
for me
I moved away without telling
my family
Why should I tell them?
I was the black sheep
I didn’t get the same
love like my sibs did
There is one thing I don’t
understand
How come it is okay to have
gay friends, not a gay son?
She didn’t had a problem
with them being lesbians
Why me?
Hypocrite mother
New Life In A City
By Kazz Falcon
My lover has an opportunity
for a new job
We both were excited about
moving
He would make more money
Of course, I have to look for
another job.
We need to move within a few
days
He found out about it today
His boss felt he was right
for the job
We didn’t expect that
job at all
We was comfortable living in
Hollywood
We was happy with our lifes
We had wonderful friends too
We have to rebuild our lifes
in Denver
We must sell our furniture
in a short notice
Maybe, we could put it in the
storage
Who knows?
We may need it again.
Hmm, or we could sub rent our
apartment
Then again, we don’t
have that much time left
What to do? What to do?
If we knew, he would get the
new job
We could have did it a lot
sooner
We don’t have the time
now
All we know, we need to make
the best of it
An opportunity like these doesn’t
come that often
It was too good to pass it
up
Life couldn’t get any
better than this
Couldn’t it?
Couldn’t It?
By Kazz Falcon
We settled into our new place
quite well
We have been here for a few
months
Everything was going smoothly
for us
Life couldn’t be more
perfect
He loves his new job
I couldn’t find anything
yet
I kept on trying my best
My lover doesn’t mind
We could afford to live on
one income
He claimed I don’t have
to work
We gained new friends in the
apartment building
We hang out with them; the
movies, the mall, the clubs and more
Something struck me
Deep down, there was something
missing in our lifes
We can’t place it
Yeah, our lifes was different
We were happy
Don’t get me wrong
Denver was a wonderful city
There were many things to do
Our lifes was active
But, there was something else
Damn, what was it?
We had everything we had in
Hollywood
God, please help me
Why do we felt like we have
a big hole in our lifes?
Our lifes were perfect as it
can be
What could it be?
What Could It Be?
By Kazz Falcon
What could it be?
We searched for answers low
and high
We ended up empty handed
We still couldn’t place
it
For some odd reason, we had
a big hole in our lifes
My unemployment couldn’t
be it
We didn’t have a problem
with it in the beginning
I wasn’t working when
we fell in love
Of course, I was going to school
School took up most of my time
My lover wanted me to get a
good education
An education was very important
to the both of us
Something wasn’t right
for us
I felt it deep down in my soul
I knew we didn’t give
up our happiness
We had the life we want in
Denver
The big hole has a profound
affect
It was really driving us crazy
God, please give us a sign
You could tell us
Something was missing from
our lifes
What could it be?
Dream Realization
By Kazz Falcon
I woke up from my ongoing dream
I couldn’t see where
I was
It felt so familiar, but I
was stuck there
I didn’t want to wake
up at all
I kept on having the same dream
all over again
It got stronger and stronger
I had an urge to solve the
dream
I couldn’t find any answers
in the dream book
What was the meaning?
Hmm, I figured to solve it
was dream again
I hoped the dream would become
clear
We wanted to know the truth
behind the dream
I went in a deep sleep, alone
in bed
My lover didn’t want
to distract me
I could see the dream again
All around me was darkness
I couldn’t walk straight
I ran into some things along
the way
I traveled many miles to get
where I was
The closer I get; the urge
became stronger
It got a hold on me
It dragged me to somewhere
familiar
Things was clearer to me
Old friends was dining with
me
I was at our old place in Hollywood
A faceless man showed up on
the balcony
He said, “Home is where
the heart is.”
I repeated it once more
“Home is where the heart
is.”
Home…home…home,
Denver, Hollywood, Denver
My lover heard me mumbled in
my sleep
He tried to shake me up, but
I wouldn’t bulge
He splashed water on my face
I looked at him; wishing he
was in my dream
I explained the dream to him
He was anxious to know the
faceless man
He was the key of the dream
It dawn on me that I was living
with my man in Hollywood
Suddenly, he said, “Home
is where the heart is.”
He was the faceless man
I was at peace with my lover
Denver doesn’t feel home
at all
It wasn’t right for us
We made a huge mistake of moving
to Denver
We knew what we got to do to
make things right
The dream was a sign from God
We were on the way back to
our real home
Hollywood was always a dream
Addiction
By Kazz Falcon
Addiction
I was lusting for more
Something I couldn’t
stop doing
I got to have it whenever
I got to do it
I was in the need for it
I was speeding ahead to self-destruct
I was feeding by the addiction
An addiction I can’t
handle
It always comes back to me
I felt a need for it
It doesn’t last that
long
I wanted more time
It was destroying my life altogether
It was a ploy to ruin my life
I was toying with my addiction
I blasted into space
I lasted till I had my fun
in the sun
I was foolish enough to fall
for the addiction
I may not even make it out
alive
My life was at stake
Friends warned me
“Wake up and see the
light,
Forsake the addiction before
it’s too late.”
Tears shouted from the eyes
I wanted out to get help
It was one rough bout to handle
alone
Fallen tears made me tough
and strong
I threw the bed habit out of
my life
The addiction was coming to
an end
It sent me a journey back home
where I belong
Addiction, so long
Losing Control
By Kazz Falcon
I was wrong about the drugs
I couldn’t stop doing
them
It took over my life
I thought I had it under control
It sought out my vulnerable
I ought to know better
It brought me a lifetime of
hell
Damn, why was I so stupid?
I figured the drugs wouldn’t
get me down
Oh, how much I frown!
The tiny problems crept up
to big problems
Once in a while, I missed paying
some bills
Then, the further the drugs
got to me
I couldn’t pay my rent
a few times
My life was a total disaster
An ounce of weakness didn’t
stop the drugs
I let it happen
I had no one to blame, but
me
I need to take responsible
for my actions
The drugs kept on picking on
the sore spots
It torpedoed me straight into
living hell
The problems became greater
than me
Damn, I was such a fool!
I don’t need drugs to
have a fun time
Well, I learned my lesson the
hard way
Losing Control
Feeling Left Out
By Kazz Falcon
My dear friends
I tell you a true story
I hate feeling left out
It tore me apart; I wanted
to shout
I feared that nobody want me
around
Please say a little pray for
me
Who else to play with other
than friends?
Strangers was no way to be
a part of a group
Danger lies ahead into all
sorts of troubles
Troubles I may never get out
My friends did their own thing
without me
I sang the blues in a jail
cell
I failed to realized that…
He was an undercover cop trying
to sell drugs
Well enough, I took the bait
He booked me on charges of
soliciting
Now, I looked to my friends
for help
How come you were never there
when I need you?
More ever before, I was scare
that I may never get out
Where was my friend, who takes
good care of me?
I was in no mood to play games
All I want was to go home and
be a part of a real group
Sometimes, I felt left out
of things I don’t do with friends
Look what happened to me with
the strangers
The police arrested me
I sang the blues
Please bring the bail money
I want to set sail on the ocean
with friends
The last thing I was left out
from the start
The hurt cast my eyes to cry
The fast lane ended me up in
jail
A place I have never wanted
to be
I learned I face life in prison
My friends was the ace in the
hole
I had no one else to turn to
I was so alone and feeling
left out
Lust
By Kazz Falcon
What is lust?
Is it something that God made
up to take place of love?
I think NOT!
They were two different things
They were just the opposite
of each other
Love was one on one
It was the unity of two people
joining through God
It was more serious than lust
Lust damaged the body, the
mind, the spirit and the soul
It brought destruction to people’s
lifes
Diseases among the people,
troubles arises and untrusting lovers
Love takes control of lust
Let God conquer the lustful
thoughts
Your miserable life of no love
will end
Love comes from God, the true
love of everyone
Lust isn’t love
It truly contains meaningless
sex with people
You really don’t love
You don’t have the desire
of real love
Take it from me
One-night stands have no love
but to fulfill people’s sexual needs
and desire
Real love counts the most for
people in love, not in lust
Don’t fool around with
list versus love
It was a losing battle
You would get burn from it
Let love comes from God
The right person would come
along
Lusty Eyes
By Kazz Falcon
Lusty eyes
Who do we seek tonight?
We had all night to find sex
My lover was away on business
He wouldn’t know about
it
Hmm, we could go to the bathhouse
Perhaps, the sex club
Damn, there was one problem
thou
I had no money on me, nor a
credit card
We shared the same checking
account
Those places were out of the
question
I could go clubbing
The again, I need money to
drink
There was one thing left to
do
I drove around till someone
interesting comes along
Don’t fail me, lusty
eyes
Ending Love
By Kazz Falcon
I picked up this sexy man
We went back to my place
My lover wouldn’t be
back in a couple of days
We stripped down and jumped
in the bed
He has the most beautiful body
I ever lay my hands on
He was smooth, blond, blue
eyes, fabulous smile and very muscular
I had an awesome time with
the hunk
We went from the bed to the
floor to the kitchen to the shower and
back to bed
We were pretty exhausted
We fell asleep in each other’s
arms
By that time, my lover showed
up from his business trip
I wasn’t expecting him
to come home early
He was excited that the deal
was done within two days
He came home with flowers for
his bee
But I had extra honey in bed
He buzzed to our bedroom
My fling stung him straight
to his heart
His shouting waked us
I baked our love to a burning
crisp
The blonde suddenly put on
his cloths
He mentioned he didn’t
know I had a lover
My lover wasn’t furious
at him, but he believed him
It wasn’t the first time
I did it
The blonde left us alone
The lover turned his attention
to me
He couldn’t believe I
had sex with another man again
The last time, it almost killed
our love
I convinced him otherwise
Our love was strong to overcome
anything
This time, he wouldn’t
look at me
He got a suitcase from the
closet and started to pack
I wondered where was he going
He gave me a stern look
“I’m not going
anywhere! You are! Get out of my house and life!”
I pleaded with him to let me
stay with him
He was tone-deaf to the loud
screeching music in his ears
To him, that music was ending
love
Love Costs
By Kazz Falcon
Love costs
My lover gave me some money
in an envelope
He didn’t have time to
go to the bank
He was running late for his
job at City Walk
I took the money home with
me
Tomorrow, I went to his place
early
He expected his money in the
morning
Much to my surprise, I had
a bad feeling
Yes, I had over $500 in cash
on me
If I wasn’t careful,
someone may rob me
So far, so good
No one was suspicious on the
subway
They hardly know me
I got off the train and headed
upstairs
The bad feeling wouldn’t
go away
Damn, would someone notice
how nervous I was?
$500 was a lot to carry on
me
I hurried along to his place
The bad feeling got stronger
and stronger
It became overwhelmed that
I need some time by myself
I went back to the Hollywood/Highland
mall
The bad feeling wasn’t
that strong anymore
I figured that nobody would
rob me
I was in board daylight and
safe
I made tracks to his place
once again
It came back stronger as ever
I don’t want to run away
from the feeling
If someone robs me, it was
meant to be
I need to face the fear
I used my key to get in the
building
Once inside, I didn’t
feel safe at all
The feelings troubles me
I knocked on his door
There was no answer
I knocked again
Still, there was no answer
I was about to leave when….
I heard a breathing noise coming
inside the place
I didn’t know what to
make of it
It suddenly dawn on me
What if my lover was having
trouble breathing?
My God! What could I do?
Should I call 911?
Should I get the apartment
manager?
Should I break down the door?
I made up my mind
I unlocked the door with my
key
Then, the unthinkable happened
Someone robbed me of love
Trust could cost even more
I was $500 richer
Love costs
