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#5

Stupid Drugs
By Kazz Falcon

I thought too hard
I can’t think of anything to write about
I know I have many ideals
There were in the back of my head
I don’t see them clearly
I won’t be able to put them down on paper
I wondered if my brain is working
Did the drugs play a part?
It couldn’t be that
Wouldn’t it?
I shouldn’t let the drugs affect my brain
Then again, maybe it did happen that way
It dawn on me
When I think too hard, my brain hurts
I better lay off the drugs for a while
Then I would know the truth
I could tell the drugs messed up my mind
I can’t think straight
The drugs are powerful destroyers
I used to get good grades
Now, I lost my great ideals to stupid drugs


Different Schools
By Kazz Falcon

There was a time
I was quite popular in middle school
Everyone thought I was cool
I wasn’t anybody’s fool
My favorite activity was the pool
Hugs were allowed
Drugs, forget about it
The girls like me a lot
The guys envy me
Next year, things drastically changed
There was a different feel to school
Everyone thought I wasn’t cool
I felt like a fool
I wasn’t the best in the pool
Hugs weren’t allows anymore
Drugs crossed my mind a couple of times
The girls like the other boys
The guys had a chance for love
I was least popular in high school


Too Graphic
By Kazz Falcon

Nah, it couldn’t be
Wah, it shouldn’t be
I don’t have a dirty mouth
I was glad that I don’t live in the south
There would be a hanging
Anywhere, I would be banging
The thought sicken me
It brought out the good in me
I fought being too graphic in my art
I sought out the feel good real life poems
I ought to kick his ass
Oops, what happened to my class?
Me bad
I could be a dirty filthy mouth lad
Was I being too graphic?
Don’t have a cow
I was waiting for a bow
I deserved that much
I served my art not being too graphic


Speech Problem
By Kazz Falcon

I had it since I was a young lad
A kid made fun of me, I was sad
I had a mother’s comfort, I was glad
I couldn’t escape the pain; he was still bad
I wouldn’t take the crap much longer, I was mad
I shouldn’t be hateful to him; I saw an ad
It was about a writing contest
I should show the creep with the test
I would enter it; he was still a pest
I could win; I was the best
With winning the contest, he should give it a rest
A poem came up; it was exciting enough
He picked on me; I would be tough
He hasn’t stop; it was rough
Mom watched TV at home, she was sick
The curtain flew opened; the announcer was Rick
He announced the winner of the contest
I accepted the award; I was the best
The pest wept, he lost to me
I kept my dignity; I showed him I was smart
He thought I was pretty dumb than him
He ought to know by now; I was the winner


Black Angel
By Kazz Falcon

The fire of hell raised me
I seek seriously ill people, even suicidal
The pain they have, I want to kill them
I loved to make them suffer fast
With lethal injection, they won’t last
No other angels have the power and freedom to kill
I always wear black
No, I wasn’t the angel of death
I was more sinister then him
I kill innocence people at night
The ill people called out for me
I answered back with their death
Then I ceased the killing moment
The deceased bodies, the angel of death took their souls
Wherever they turn up – Heaven or Hell
Some would burn in the second death
Their souls scorched for life
It makes me happy when they call out for me
I truly confessed, it gave me satisfaction
I was blessed for being the black angel


Suicide Doctor
By Kazz Falcon

Did I commit murder or assist in suicide?
I admitted I played a big part in their deaths
For them, I used a lethal injection
Some believed I abused my doctor’s rights
Come on, I didn’t misused my rights
There were miserable, they wanted to end it
They came to me; I accosted them with their deaths
Their families hissed at me
Only because they missed their love ones
They didn’t have the guts to kill themselves
I gladly gave them a helping hand
Being the black angel, they put up a stand
The families and friends cried fowl
I tried to explain, “It was in their best interest.”
I fried their love ones with lethal injection
I ended their pain; I was doing my job
I defended myself; they couldn’t accept the suicides
I sent them to an early grave
I bent over for the suicide needs
I went to prison, that wasn’t fair
In the love ones’ eyes, I was a hero
In the families’ eyes, I was a murderer
In my eyes, I was the black angel


Suffering
By Kazz Falcon

When is the suffering going to stop?
I can’t go on living like this, Black Angel
I was in too much pain
My body aches all over by every moment
I wished it would stop
I dished out all the pain I could take
Right now, the pain was too great to handle
The sight of things, I hope it would end soon
I prayed, my lover has the strength for me
He promised he would be the Black Angel
He can end it for me; just pull the plug
Do it for me, I would ole him a big hug
I just want to die, free of pain
Did he lie?  Did he take off in the train?
I hope not, I really need him
The plug, honey, the plug, just pulls the damn plug
I looked at him; he crumbled to pieces
He booked his tears away from me
I saw the pain in his eyes
He had a tough decision to make
It was rough for him; his true love was dying
He could stop the pain for the both of us
Just pull the plug, Black Angel, death awaits me


Frightening Morning
By Kazz Falcon

After awhile, the table’s lamp begun to flash
The chairs made some noises
Through the walls, I heard some voices
It called out a name
I didn’t heard quite well what it was saying
It became furiously with me
The chairs moved faster
The table was lifted
I jumped on my bed; I wouldn’t dare to hide under
The bed kept on crashing everywhere
I wept, why is the demon mad?
I didn’t do anything wrong, the voices screamed at me
I screamed back, “Leave me alone!”
I searched for the good luck charm, the special stone
The door, I remembered, the door
I could escape; I leaped forth to the door
It was locked; I was trapped
I jumped back on the bed, my eyes was shut
I was scared, I prayed to God
The voices got louder; I hid under the blanket
Things got calmer; my mother came in
I was glad to see her; she comforted me
She noticed the stone; it put a smile on her
A tornado struck, I was safe in her arms


Sex Addiction
By Kazz Falcon

I became a sex addict through looking for love
My sexual needs came stronger than love
The same old story, I looked for love in the wrong places
I tried love at the clubs
I managed to get sex from one-night stands
I tried love at coffee house
I managed to find sex
I tried love at a church; it was somewhat better
We somehow ended up in bed
I tried love at the movies
The movies became x rated, more sex
It seems like nobody wanted to be in love
I thought they was more interest in sex
I ought to know, love wasn’t around
I fought my sexual desires; I was lonely
I sought out love; it got too frustrated
I brought some x-rated magazines
It didn’t do me any better; I want the real thing
I was vulnerable; the bathhouse became a second home
Sex was on my mind 24/7, I felt empty inside
I couldn’t get enough sex; I want sex badly
My life was a mess; sex was my drug


Lusty Sex
By Kazz Falcon

I was turn on by sex at an early age
We was the same sex, we experienced the gay sex
It was very interesting thou
We was fascinated by the male body
He moved away, my desires didn’t stop there
I loved the experience I had with him
I drove around, as I got older
I picked up men everywhere I could find them
Quick sex wasn’t enough for me
I wanted sex to last a long time
It was hard; I still lived with my family
So, I kept on searching for sex
I slept with many men
Love never entered my mind
It was the farthest thing from me
I came upon an ad for a bathhouse
I didn’t know what one was
I figured they sell bathtubs for houses
Boy, I was wrong!  I got an eyeful
And, girlfriend, I had more fun ever before
Sex didn’t stop there
Along the way, I found out about the sex clubs


Reactions
By Kazz Falcon

I wrote a story about the pussy for kids
With a note, I got permission to read in the library
At first, the parents thought nothing of it
The moment they heard pussy, they was beyond shocked
They were ready to throw rocks
I had a sinful dirty mouth
Of course, this was the south
They didn’t take kindly to the pussy or me
I defended my freedom of speech
I ended in jail for a couple of nights
They pretended it was much worse than that
I went to another town for another chance
The same thing happened; I couldn’t dance
Both times, they ran me out of town
I couldn’t believe it; I was down
I cried, “Give me a chance, dear lord!”
This time, open minded with my sword
They picked up some rocks
They thought I tricked them
I gave them some advice
Please listen to the whole story
A miracle occurred; they didn’t judge the pussy or me
The pussy became successful, thanks to reactions


Close Minded Judges
By Kazz Falcon

I was being judge for the pussy
They took the pussy out of content
I explained it was only a word
I wasn’t being negative about the pussy
Such words as “fag, nigger” are in bad taste
Without much luck, I was crucified at the cross
They didn’t give a damn
They only want to believe what they heard
I told them very nicely,
“You are old enough to know better.”
Once again, it went over their heads
I wondered what happened to the freedom of speech
Whosoever is not open minded, they are stupid
They want to judge anyone for something
My God, what kind of life is that?
I pouted, “You’re not being fair!”
I shouted, “God is the judge, not you.”
It went out in one ear, out the other one
They can be so close-minded
What a sad, sad sight indeed


Childless Mother
By Kazz Falcon

My baby fell off the bed
I thought my boyfriend watched her closely
Soon enough, he came back to the room; the baby was dead
He was lost for words; it was a shock to us
It almost cost my other kids too
Losing one kid was bad, losing all of them were much worse
Everyone was sad; she didn’t live a full life
I was mad, I hold him responsible for her death
He was old enough to be careful with babies
Someone told the Child Protection Agency
They came fast for an investigating
In the mean time, they took the other kids away
I was shook up, more heartbreak
I wasn’t allow to see them, I couldn’t bare the thought
I cried, I missed my kids including the dead daughter
I tried to get them back; I want my kids now
I was denied; they believed I was an unfit mother
It fried me; I would never hurt them in any way
It wasn’t my fault; he foolishly walked away
Things happens, he thought the baby was safe
I ought to trust him; he was like a father to them
I must get my kids back; they are my kids
I felt horrible that she was dead
It melted me that I may never see them again
I can’t live without then, they were my life forever


Hollywood Bowl
By Kazz Falcon

I finally convinced the supervisor to let my play in the bowl
He thought my art wouldn’t fly with the audience
Hmm, the way I see it, it was up to the audience
They may boo or cheer me
I wasn’t even a big time star
I just wanted to show my craft during the intermission
Trust me, I had a long way to hit big time
I must think small; then I would grow into Mr. Big
I climbed up the wall once before, I watched from afar
Watching them at the bowl, I felt alive
The performers and the music were alive in me
Since then, I had the desire to play at the bowl
I didn’t know what my act would be
I would do anything to perform including reading some poems
It dawn on me, what if I became a artist
Then the supervisor won’t denied me
Boy, I was wrong – he denied me so many times
I tried all kinds of act
I cried, none of them work smoothly
He did like my one ideal; I could read poems
My big night came; the crowd wouldn’t leave for the intermission
They was glued to their seats, my poems drawn them to me
The supervisor realized I was good enough for Hollywood Bowl


All My Money
By Kazz Falcon

I wasted it on drugs
Nobody was around to give me hugs
Everybody did something else
Somebody was my drug dealer at the park
A few go to him for drugs
He could trust me; I was one of his many buyers
I would go to him each month
I should do something else with my money
But I had no desire
I was homeless for a while
I lived in a tent in downtown LA
I vented my problems with the drugs
Then again, what problems
The drugs freed me from them
I was relieved; I don’t have a care in the world
I didn’t want to deal with an apartment
So many times, I was late with the rent
The late fees cost me a bundle
I didn’t keep up with the bills either
I spent the money on drugs each much
I was tired of the hassles from the landlord
On skid row, I was freed from every day’s troubles
I don’t miss the apartment, I was glad I gave it up
I had more time and more money for drugs
It was sad that I get pay once a month
 

Flat Broke
By Kazz Falcon

I get paid early in the month, once a month
By each paycheck, I spent it all on drugs
The money lasted a week or less
It depends on too much drugs I want
Sometimes, I want a dime, a quarter or whatever
Most times, I buy the big one
I hope it would last me a long time
The dope I was, it doesn’t last throughout the week
I must cope with the other druggies at skid row
Some I can’t trust, some are my friends
We tried to look out for each other
I cried when we ran out of drugs
Then the search begins, I scores drugs somehow
I would lie, cheat or steal to get what we want
I could work, but nobody wants to hire a homeless person
The supervisors truly believed I was bad news
No matter what how hard I try, I was flat broke
I do favors, any favor they want from me
It could be anything, I don’t mind
I don’t care as long I get my high of the day
I want the4 high to get away from being homeless
I felt much better; my nerves won’t be shock
The drugs was my escape from reality
My highlight of the month was my paycheck
My low is by the first week I am flat broke


Male Prostitute
By Kazz Falcon

I couldn’t find any other job
I shouldn’t let it get to me
I wouldn’t cry over spilt milk
It happens often
By now, I was so used to it
I refused to work for low lives
They abused their powers; they turned me down flat
It burned me that they can’t see pass the speech problem
It was their loss; I could be a great asset
Oh well! Life goes on
Prostitution was the next best thing for me
Any men would pay for me; I have a perfect body
I could charge a bundle; anything goes
I should be careful; they are STD’s
I don’t give a damn, no one ants me
I won’t stop; I need the money no matter what
I was in a tough position; I can’t afford a place
It was rough, the street as my home
I don’t care if I get AIDS
I don’t care if I get kill
I don’t care if I get sick
I don’t care if I die young
Why should I care?
No one does
I tried my best, I failed miserable
I cried every other day, the tears was my blanket
Now, you know, I’m a male prostitute


The Kite
By Kazz Falcon

She blew right into my life
I knew God sent her my way for a reason
It could be any season
It was spring, a new beginning for everything
It also be a renewal of some sort
I didn’t know what it was yet
Hmm, I see that you already placed your bet
Are you sure about it?
I had a good feeling that I would beat the odds
I sensed something great was about to happen
It could be anything that I set my mind to it
It would be nothing; the kite would never come my way
But the kite did
I kid you not
The lid was opened; I found some paint
I went around in circles; I must focus
Sounds like a great ideal; I became patience quickly
I control the kite in the rough winds
It has written something in the air
“Become the artist you once was.”
I let go of the kite; it disappeared into the skies
The artist reappeared after a long absence
She blew right out of my life


The Lost Kite
By Kazz Falcon

My owner let me go in the air
Therefore, I was on a private quest for a mission
He won’t miss me; I always come back
I flew to Los Angeles; I was on the right track
I knew I would find him; he was dress in black
He changed over the years, but his heart remained whack
He was lonely and confused; he lost his way
For a long time, he won’t go on living for another day
His heart broken in a million of pieces
He needs something to renew his heart’s desires
The weed wasn’t do him any good
The seed wanted him to grow
He could be anything he wants to be
He should live his dreams; he was quite good
He would be known for his art
He only needs a helping hand
I was the enforcer; I must make it right
He wasn’t happy with his life, he fallen on rough times
Being homeless again was so badly tough
I saw him in the park, crying out loud
I was there for him, trying to fix his life
The seed was planted; I flew back home


Open Mike
By Kazz Falcon

I wrote a poem
I was running late from drunk driving
I arrived one hour late
I survived the traffic on the way
Thank God they took a break
I signed up for Open Mike
Then I realized, “what was I doing?”
I can’t speak in front of them, I wasn’t nervous
I did had the nerves, I just can’t do it
I wasn’t comfortable there
I tried to persuade a friend
He denied me; he believed I could do it
I cried, “How could I do it?”
I was fried at the moment
It was agonizing for me; I couldn’t do it
I wasn’t ready; the drunk driving was awesome
Should I do it? Yes, I should
Could I do it? Yes, I could
Would I do it? Yes, I would
Only if I concentrate on the drunk driving
I know I was the best in my heart
I couldn’t go on with drunk driving
I wasn’t ready of felt comfortable
People wouldn’t understand me


Drunk Driving
By Kazz Falcon

I almost kill someone in Hollywood
He was in intensive care, barely hanging on
Our futures were at stake; I couldn’t bare the thought
Me, a murderer!
It can’t be, I hope it doesn’t come true
I was a dope for drunk driving
I must cope with the deadly consequences
Trust me, I wished I had a rope
I felt it tightening around my neck
Their hands wouldn’t let go of choking me
I wished I died right along with him
He don’t deserved to die unlike me
I made it out of alive, why couldn’t it be him?
I want to trade places; my guilt may go away
It won’t fade away; I must live with the guilt
The guilt of my actions was too powerful
I still need to face his angry mother
Lots of thoughts races through my mind
What if it didn’t happen?
I would be better off
It could never happen
But it did, I became so drunk
I got in the car from the gay club
I can’t remember a damn thing
All I know, the police took me away for drunk driving


This Angry Mother
By Kazz Falcon

I just found out that a drunk driver struck my only son
I didn’t like the sound of it
I never thought it would happen to him
I ought to know, drunk driving could happen anywhere
I brought him up to be a happy loving young man
Damn him! He destroyed my son’s future
I couldn’t gasp the thought; he was on his deathbed
He may not make it out alive; I wished the same for him
Better yet, let him rot in jail where he belongs
Hell, no!  I would seek the death penalty on his behalf
That would be my ultimate revenge
I was so angry; I couldn’t forgive him
I can’t live on without my only son
He was 16 year old; he had a bright future
Now, his future was taken away from him
He didn’t graduate school or went to collage
How could he live with himself?
He ruined my son’s future
He deserved all the pain in the world unlike my son
My heartbreaks, my son lays there helpless
I couldn’t do a damn thing
Then again, I can start my own MADD in town
It was a positive way to heal this angry mother


Thoughts In A Coma
By Kazz Falcon

I was helpless; a drunk driver put me in a coma
I couldn’t reach out to my mother
I just can’t do it; I was badly hurt
I felt my mom’s presence; she tried to hold on to me
I melted by her love; she cried that I might die soon
The way my mother carried on, she wants him to fry
With the law on her side, she can’t be deny
I hope I woke up soon; she cares to see my eyes
She wants to look into my eyes
She gently said, “Your mom is here. Everything would be all right!”
I wished I could hear that, I need her love and comfort
Most of all, I need her strength
It might be a tall order; it was worth the shot
The sight of things, I wondered why me
Why do I deserve to be punished like this?
I didn’t do anything wrong, I was one of the nice guys
I don’t know what to make out of it
It couldn’t be a part of God’s plans
God wouldn’t punish the good people in the world
I shouldn’t be angry with God
I know in my heart, something positive would come
My mother and I can’t be negative about it
We need to hold on to our faith in God
I need to hold on to dear life
We need to hold on to each other through thick and thin


The Meeting In The Jail
By Kazz Falcon

The mother and I met face to face for the first time
I never saw so much anger from a mother before
Her eyes were red shot, so devilish, and steamed
She didn’t hold back, she lashed me with her whip
I felt the hurt; I bashed her son’s future
With her belt, she wanted to strangle me
No man or God could stop her
She was determined to name me pay with the drunk driving
She vowed I would get mine – the death penalty
Gulp!  I feared, please not that, I didn’t mean to
Her tears could have flood my jail cell
I won’t be able to get out; I was locked up
I would drown; she wouldn’t care
I didn’t care either
I left her son to die in the street
He was innocence in all of this
I created the mess; I was a drunk driver
I confessed, “I deserved the pain her son got from me.”
She thought I should be the one in the hospital
I ought to; a life hangs in balance
She fought for her son’s life; he needs her strength
She hope she never ever cross path with me
If she does, my life would end with a car
Much like her son’s life may end soon


Adoption
By Kazz Falcon

It was sad that it led to adoption
I was glad my baby would have a better like without me
It was bittersweet; I can’t see him to grow up
I would miss the joys and pains of parenthood
It could be much better if I stop doing drugs
It should be much easier if I receive hugs
I won’t be able to hug my son
I don’t have the money to raise him
It always goes to drugs; the addiction was too strong
There goes my son’s motherly hugs; it felt empty for long
I was a dope, the drugs were too important than him
I hope to God, he would understand why I gave him up
Maybe, he would never know the truth of me
His new parents nay not tell him at all
They would claim him as their own flesh and blood
I wouldn’t blame them; he was their son now
They can raise him any way they want to
I trust the adoption agency
They must have put him in a wonderful family
That was the only thing I could hope for my son
Damn!  I need to stop saying “my son”
It was hard thou, he was a piece of my life
I felt so lonely inside; I want pot to forget about him
It was a good thing I gave him up for adoption


An Adoption Baby
By Kazz Falcon

We wanted a baby so badly. My wife couldn’t have any
We tried so many times in the natural way
She cried, the doctor gave her the bad news
We also got good news; he knew a fabulous adoption agency
He recommends that place too all his patients
She felt she couldn’t dot it
The baby wouldn’t be hers; it was somebody else’s
She wanted her own baby to love and care for
Besides, it may take months or even years
We didn’t have that much time
We were going up in the years; we want a baby now
We stared into each other’s eyes
We dared to admit; we could wait a little longer
We tried for a long time
Couple more months/years would be fine
We prayed that it doesn’t take a long time
We deserved an adoption baby no matter who we are
We had lots of love to show
We had lots of money to raise the baby
We had lots of friends for support
Things couldn’t get any better than that
We want the same experience our lesbian friends had
We could be great parents for an adoption baby


A Special Man
By Kazz Falcon

God has a plan for my speech problem
It came about so that his work might be displaced in me
It was the same thing with the blind man
I became Jesus Christ’s biggest fan
Let put Satan where be belongs – in the can
Set my mind, the artist came within
I met my power; it was an awesome feeling
I can’t get wet; God is behind me 100%
I bet the artist would have influenced in their lives
My safety net was God; he gave me a powerful voice
People should listen to me; I was one of a kind artist
They could get more out of life
I would give them a reason to
They can see themselves in the art
The influence I have over them
They would think twice of the choices
Wink, wink,
I won’t control their lives
Everyone must learn the hard way no matter what
I earned my powerful voice
Hear me in the art; I speak the truth of life
Tear away from your troubles
Clear your mind; think positive thoughts
I sought God’s plan by being a special man


Sick & Tired
By Kazz Falcon

The homeless situation ticks me off
Why don’t I have the strength to lick it?
I didn’t pick to be homeless again
Sometimes, it was a dick
No matter how hard it is, I want to trick it
Someone came to my rescue in the nick of time
His name was Rick, he was in the same boat
He was a male prostitute, now a successful actor
He offered to take me to his pad
It was tempted; this lad would be in paradise
I couldn’t accept it; I want to make it on my own
I wouldn’t dare to; it was sweet of him
“You shouldn’t be a hooker,” he claimed
“I know I could get something dreadful,” I proclaimed
He remembered the place he used to stay
We raced to La Brea; it could be a way
I faced a uncertain future
It could be a place to get on my feet
I should be able to sleep easy at night
I would be safe from the streets
He offered me a real job if they accept me
I took up on his deal; I got on my knees
God listened to our needs
Being homeless, I was sick & tired


Known
By Kazz Falcon

I walked in the shadow of Jesus Christ
I talked mostly about real life
He made himself known to the world
Just like I did with my poems
He reached out to millions of people
Just like I did with my poems
He healed people with his powers
Just like I did with my poems
He saved millions of people
Just like I did with my poems
He taught about love and compassion
Just like I did with my poems
He preached the truth of life
Just like I did with the poems
He showed the world what he was about
Just like I did with the poems
He didn’t look beyond by some people
Just like I did with the poems
He was turned away from who he was
Just like I did with the poems
He was the one for everyone
I was the one for anybody
We traveled down the same path
We both have insights about the world
Wherever the shadow goes, I followed him


The Shadow
By Kazz Falcon

I heard so much about the shadow
I wanted to be like him
He was mysterious and loved by all
He kept on doing wonderful things throughout the world
I wept, “We need to be more like him”
He was so loving, caring and a sweetheart
Wherever he goes, I followed him
I searched for him everywhere
The places he have been to
No one ever saw him, nor they had a picture of him
I wondered why
I had another question, “Where does he live?”
I continued to search for his home
He didn’t have a phone or address listed
I searched more; he was missing
I gave up on him; I couldn’t find him
I sensed a presence; no one was around
I felt the shadow lurks in the background
He didn’t stay that long; he mysterious disappeared
I saw a description on the wall
“Follow me, I would give you the world again.”
I felt something in my heart
I was melted by the shadow
 

Copyright 2005 Kazz Falcon

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.