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#16

By Kazz Falcon

I was homeless in LA
I stayed at Midnight Mission
I was glad that I had a place to stay
It saved me from skid row
I know I wouldn’t survive in the streets
I followed the rules
I “scored” points at the shelter
The points let us to stay longer
It was time for a change
I wanted a new look
I was tired of my brown hair
The beauty shop changed me into a blond
I looked marvelous
It was the first time to change my color
I went back to Midnight Mission
I showed my hair to my friends
Everyone seems like my blond hair
The head honcho wanted to see me
I went in his office
He really hated my new look
It costs an uproar big time during July 4th weekend
He found himself “an out”
He mentioned it didn’t look good at the shelter
Huh?
I didn’t understand
My new look had nothing to do with the shelter
He gave me an ultimatum
He ordered me to change it back to brown
Or shave it off
He gave me a few days to decide
Well, I don’t have to think about it
He has no right to tell me what to do
I flat out refused
He kicked me out for not being a blond
He used the blonde hair as an excuse
He discriminated me for being gay
At least, I stood my ground
I will rather to be blonde AND gay,
Then listen to a low life jerk at Midnight Mission

  
Demon
By Kazz Falcon

I haven’t seen the demon in a long time
I kept it lock up deep inside of me
I want to destroy that person
He killed my daughter
I had so much anger
I can’t forgive him
I just can’t
It was too hard
My little girl was my life
It destroyed my life
I can’t hold her in my arms
I wasn’t there for her
I failed my daughter
I felt so guilty
I can’t go on without her
Damn him!
I won’t be responsible for my actions
It won’t be a pretty sight
No man can stop me
I vowed revenge against the low life
Luckily, he was sent to jail few years ago
I found peace within for the time being
I never want to let the demon out of the cage
Once he gets out of prison, I won’t control the demon

  
The Terrorist
By Kazz Falcon

I had a death job to do
I must served my leader at any cost
I can’t fail him at all
I need to let the USA to know who’s in charge
USA was too powerful
I must weaken them somehow
It was time to send them a warning
USA won’t know what hit them before it’s too late
Many citizens will be grief-stricken
No one can suspect a thing
The plan needs to be fool proof
I planted a bomb on the airplane
The plane exploded in mid air
I killed thousands of people
USA mourned for their deaths
It won’t be the last of the bombs
Life won’t ever be the same for USA
I had the upper hand
I had many identifies
I had good resources
I had other terrorists around me
I will continue planting bombs
If the FBI finds me, I will commit suicide
It will be the end for this terrorist

  
Rapist
By Kazz Falcon

I was on the lookout for sex
Hmm, was this the one?
I followed her for a few weeks
I couldn’t get her out of my mind
The moment I saw her, I knew she was the one
She was an obsession
She has beautiful blond hair, blue eyes and a great body
She was attractive to me
It looked like she needs to take the bus home
Well, I can ask her if she wants a ride
There was no harm in asking
I pulled up beside her
I rolled down the window
I asked her
She refused, but she changed her mind
She was tired from work
She didn’t want to wait an hour for the bus
I took her for a ride
She noticed I was going the wrong way
I claimed I know a short cut
I drove around till I found the perfect spot
I parked in the alley
I locked the doors
So badly, I wanted to have sex with her
I made my move on her
She became afraid
I was in control of her
She couldn’t do anything about it
She started to scream out loud
I slapped her across her face
I finally revealed my gun
I threatened her if she doesn’t do what I say
She trembled with fear
The worst happened to her
I became a rapist

  
Who’s There?
By Kazz Falcon

The doorbell rang at the house
I opened up the door
He claimed he was here to fix the cable
I mentioned I had no trouble
I tried to shut the door
He forced himself in
He was stronger than me
I couldn’t escape from him
I screamed my lungs out
No one can hear me
My next door neighbor wasn’t at home
He shut me up
He put tape over my mouth
He dragged me to the bedroom
He threw me on the bed
I was kicking him with all my strength
I couldn’t out power him
He took off his clothes
I continued to struggle
He crawled into the bed on top of me
I remembered something
It got to work
I can only save me
No one else was around
He ripped off my clothes
He violated me
I must end it now
I have to end it at no cost
I don’t care how
He may not survive
I grabbed the knife under the bed
I castrated his damage goods
He cried out loud
I ran down the street for help
I learned my lesson
I won’t answer the door being unlock
It almost cost my life

  
The Accused
By Kazz Falcon
  
Everyone knows I am an artist
I posted my art in some forums
It was a good way to be recognized
Who knows?
Maybe, an agent can get in contact with me
I could get a book deal
I wasn’t in any rush at all
Sometimes, I ran into some trouble
Some people took my art serious
They accused me of drugging people
They accused me of raping people
They accused me of spreading HIV
They accused me of putting a baby in the dumpster
They accused me about anything
Damn!
Where do they have the nerves?
They hardly know me
They have no right to judge me
I wasn’t hurting anyone with my art
Yet, they felt like I was doing the dirty deed
I was guilty in their eyes
They didn’t care I was innocence or not
They really believed I was one sick individual
One of these days, they will go too damn far
Perhaps, the police may arrest me for my art
They were hostile with me too
I could end up in the hospital or DEAD!
Man, I didn’t do anything wrong
They must stop assuming the worst things in me
I wasn't a bad guy at all
It was ONLY ART
I was the accused


Car Accident
By Kazz Falcon

I had a terrible car accident
The pain was too enormous
I couldn’t stand the pain
I wished the drunk driver didn’t struck me
It was too late to stop
There wasn’t enough time
The car blindsided me at the cross street
I was trapped in the car
I heard the ambulance coming closer
I saw someone tried to pull me out
I yelled out loud
I couldn’t move
The feelings was gone from my legs
The legs was broken
Dear Lord! Take me now
I smelt fire from a distance
The fire kept on growing and growing
The heat was extremely scorching
I pleaded with God
Please take care of my wife and kids
Please look after them, Jesus
I was truly afraid
I know I won’t make it
Take me now, God
It was time to meet my maker
The ambulance arrived too late
The car exploded into thin air

  
Teacher’s Forbidden Love
By Kazz Falcon
Dedicated to Mary Kay Letourneau
 
My marriage was falling apart
I felt emotional overwhelmed
Teaching was a bright spot
I was at the right place
I had a difficult time dealing with the marriage
I became emotional involved with a student
We spent more time alone in the class
I helped develop his gift for art
He has a unique gift in art
A question changed everything for me
It has never cross my mind
He asked, “Will you ever had a affair?”
I didn’t know what to think
I was speechless and stunned
I resisted his flirtations
I realized some students had crushes on their teachers
The 13 year old student’s feelings was different
He couldn’t live without me when he gets old
His feelings was truly heartfelt
My resistance faded away
We shared our first kiss
We felt there was nothing wrong
It won’t go any further than the kiss
I admitted I had a very deep love for him
Not long after the first kiss, we had sex
I didn’t felt guilty having sex with him
Something dawned on me
The trouble marriage drawn me to the young affair
My husband and I wasn’t sleeping in the same bed
I continued to have an affair with forbidden love

  
Darkness
By Kazz Falcon
  
I looked around
It was impossible to see anything
I can’t even see my own face in the mirror
Everything was pitch black
The storm knocked down the power lines
I didn't had any candles at the cabin
I forgot to buy some at the store
I can’t go far
I will stumble and fall down
It was best to stay where I was
I stayed in bed for the rest of the night
I can’t be scare
There wasn’t a sound
Not even a mouse
It was only the darkness and me
No one else was around
I was miles away from civilization
It was scary to be alone
All hope was lost
I might as well fall asleep
Then I won’t be that scare
The sleep was my security blanket
In the morning, I won’t see darkness

  
Little Girl Lost
By Kazz Falcon

I had a tear in my eye
I felt the pain for her
She was innocence, yet lost
I wondered where she went
Her mother cried out for her
No one has seen her in a few hours
Where could she be?
I was frightened for the little girl
The search team gathered at the house
My wife gave them a picture
I stayed with her
She shouldn’t be alone
She need comfort and love
Time has pass, there was no signs of her
It went on another day and another
So far, there hasn’t been any luck
Dear Lord!
We need you to guide our faith
We was losing hope
We just need a glimpse
Just some hope to get us by
Then, we won’t be worry that much
Any kind of a sign will be nice
Put our minds at ease
We can’t sleep till we find her
Bring her home to us

  
Right Path
By Kazz Falcon

I was tired of my life
It kept on getting worst for me
No matter how hard I try, it wasn’t getting any better
I can’t continued on with the same mistakes
It was depressing to go in circles
Somehow, I need to break the cycle
I need a peace of mind
I won’t let destroy my life any more
Please give me strength, dear Lord
I really need your help
I grabbed by its horns
I pounded the troubles to the ground
I stomped all over the troubles
It no longer has control in my life
I had renew strength and courage
No troubles will hold me captive
I finally broke free from the troubles
I was a free man, free at last
Things was getting better for me
I saw a difference in my life
God replaced the troubles with happiness
I couldn’t do it without God
I was on the right path

  
Troubled Seas
By Kazz Falcon

The storm came out of nowhere
It put my life in jeopardy
What am I going to do?
I was at risk
I couldn’t swim
I was all alone
I was terrified to death
The fearsome waves continued on
The winds pulled me in many directions
Yet, I can’t hold on to anything
I know my fate
It was the beginning of the end
I had nowhere else to go, but down
I looked in the shadowy waters
Low and behold, someone was with me
I saw his reflection in the water
I quickly turned around
He just vanished from the boat
I wondered where he went
I became more scared
I looked in the waters again
He wasn’t there
I noticed a voice from the distance
It was the same person I saw in the water
I was very happy to see him
He was my savoir
He was Jesus Christ
He came to rescue me
I pleaded with him
Come to me and hold my hand
Let me walk with you on the waters
He mentioned I must have faith
I could do it all by myself
I prayed for more faith
I got stronger and stronger
I stood up on the boat
I started to believe in me
I walked to Jesus on the water
He safely guided me to the land
I fell asleep on the beach
I finally woke up
The damage boat was beside me
I was in awe
It was very strange
I left the boat out in the sea
The boat sunk to the bottom
Yet, it managed to find me
I was grateful I survived the storm
Maybe, I was knock out on the boat
Did I really walk on the waters?
Did Jesus really save me from the storm?
Was I dreaming of the trouble seas?

  
Life Is Like A Tree
By Kazz Falcon

Each has it own growth
We started out as small
We grew into something big
We never ever stop growing
We learned from our mistakes
We got more out of life
Someone will use an axe on us
They won’t stop till we fallen to the ground
It will anger us
We won’t take it any longer
No one will tear us down from the roots
We must defend ourselves against all comers
It won’t be that easy thou
Life was so hard
We will go through stormy weathers
We must stand our grounds
The fight will be worth it
We have to believe in ourselves
It gave us strength to kill the termites
We dust off the troubles
We branched out for new life
We welcomed the new ones into our lives
We will protect them too
It was a way of life
Life is like a tree

  
Netherlands Prostitute
By Kazz Falcon

Finally, I can’t get arrested!
It was about time too
I was tired of going to jail all the time
I had it rough in the states
You wouldn’t believe how many times I went to jail
It was over a dozen
Sometimes, the police was undercover
I didn’t know any better the first time
I was hoping I could make some money
The next thing I know, I was in handcuffs
Since then, I tried to be careful
I don’t want to be in the slammer
I got tricks to please
I had no problems with my profession
I was a common criminal in their eyes
I really don’t care
I loved my job
I make good money
I work my own hours
I won’t turn down a good time
I heard I couldn’t get arrested in Netherlands
The prostitutes has their own trade union
They pay taxes too
It was a legal profession since 1988
I wanted to be safe than sorry
I don’t get any respect
It was very dangerous too
I saved all my money
I hoped on the plane to the Red Lights districts
I became a Netherlands Prostitute


The Player
By Kazz Falcon

My friend and I had a nasty fall out
We fought over a guy
I couldn’t stand she was sleeping with him
He basically destroyed my relationship
I accused him of stealing my man
How could a friend do something mean like that?
I was quite happy with him
He made me happy all the time
I brought him gifts
I cooked for him
He loves being with me
My friend pointed out something important
He was seeing him a week earlier before me
Say what?
He showed me proof
They were lovey dovey at the park
The original date was on the pictures
I trusted that damn fool
My heart was crushed
I was so angry at him
We both confronted him at the same time
We cornered him in the restroom
Man, we were drama queens!
You don’t want to cross us
He admitted the truth
He was playing us like fools
He wasn’t ashamed of it either
He was a player
We both dumped him
Hmm, in the toilet, that is!
We became friends again
We wouldn’t let another man to get in between of us
It was water under the bridge
  

What If?
By Kazz Falcon

What if…
The world ends tomorrow
It was too late to see old friends
I won’t even see my family ever again
I jumped off the cliff to my death
Things wasn’t going my way
I was in deep trouble
The police arrested me for something bad
I can’t find happiness
My new lover was mean
A fire burns down my apartment
A tree fell on me
I died being alone
I won’t have any children
I didn’t live my dreams
I ended up in the hospital
I go straight to hell
A stranger was my long lost kid
I didn’t learn from my mistake
I lost an arm or a leg
I lost all my money
I had amnesia
I became homeless again
I failed at everything
I had low self esteem
I couldn’t stop using drugs
I couldn’t stop drinking either
I made life miserable for everyone
Everything goes wrong
This poem has a turning point
I stopped being a worrywart
I will enjoy my life much better
I only live for today
I won the lottery
I lived in a mansion
I was very successful
I drove fancy cars
I was a good parent
I wore fancy clothes
I had my own TV show
I enjoyed being with good friends
I saved someone’s life
I was well loved by everyone
I traveled around the world
I grew to be an old man
I looked forward living my life
I was happy to live an active life
I lived life to the fullest
This was a never ending poem

  
The Soul
By Kazz Falcon

I was trapped in a body
I couldn’t find a way out
I passed on suicide
I wasn’t that desperate
I had a long time to live
My life was in God’s hands
Dear Lord!
The pain was too enormous
I was about to give up
I can’t go on
I kept on taking a beaten
This life wasn’t too kind
Yet, my time hasn’t come
I must remain strong for the physical body
The body really needs the soul

  
Blind Eye
By Kazz Falcon

I was deeply in love with my husband
Nothing could tear us apart
We were happy with each other
Our love was pure and heartfelt
We continued to overcome our problems
My husband was in another car accident
He was in so many accidents that I lost count
It was about the same old crap
He drove drunk and crashed into something
I was so used to it by now
I don’t worry about him that much
He always brushed it off
Nothing bad will ever happen
Yes, he broke an arm and a leg a few times
We was set in our own ways
It was a daily routine for us
I will always be there for him
I don’t want to leave him
I knew it my heart
He won’t leave any time
No matter how many times he was in an accident
He was like a pussy
He has nine lives
I was so grateful
Nothing will keep him down
The accidents made our love stronger
I turned the blind eye like nothing happen

  
Husband’s Death
By Kazz Falcon

I never ever expect this
My husband was killed in a car accident
He was driving drunk like always
I was expecting him to come out ALIVE
He always managed to stay away from death
He kept on daring death with drunk driving
We were coming home from a restaurant
We celebrated our 20th anniversary
He hit a ditch in the road
He lose grip of the wheel
He crashed into a moving car
I was hardly injured
It still hurt that he was taken away from me
It wasn’t impossible
It don’t supposed to happen that way
He didn’t had a death wish
He always make it out alive
Not this time, he died on the way to the hospital
I can’t believed it
He supposed to be home with me
I cried out loud
Why, God, why?
Please don’t take him away
I can’t survive without him
He was my rock
What went wrong?
All the years, I turned the blind eye
I didn’t want to face his drinking problem
It was my partly fault
I didn’t confront him about his drinking
I knew death was on his doorstep
Yet, it was the farthest thing from my mind
So was the husband’s death

  
Distance
By Kazz Falcon

My husband and I had problems lately
I went back to my old job
He really hated that ideal
I was a stripper long time ago
He mentioned I had no need for that job
He saved me from that life
He helped me to better myself
He was very kind and sweet
We fell in love
I got a fabulous home and husband
He had a very strong desire to have children
I couldn’t have any kids
I was very uncomfortable of him
He recently learned he had a kid he didn’t know about
The news of a newfound kid blew him away
His son was five year old
He missed out on a lot of things with the son
He felt guilty for not being there
He wanted to be a big part of his son’s life
I didn’t like that one bit
His son already had a mother and a stepfather
He was more concerned about his son, than me
I felt like he abandoned his own wife
What about me, our love?
He doesn’t give a damn about me
I begged him not to seek custody
The son was in a happy home
He was disrupting his son’s happiness
He doesn’t see it that way
Even the stepfather agreed with me
It wasn’t doing his son any good
It was confusing for the son
He had two daddies and one mother
Why can’t he leave that family alone?
Sadly, we were both living in the past
It created a distance

  
Low Self Esteem
By Kazz Falcon

I hated school with a passion
I was too stupid
I wasn’t doing that good in school
I had a hard time of learning
Some things doesn’t make any sense
My best wasn’t good enough
I studied hard
I go to the library
I also used the web
No matter how hard I try, it was the same results
I always got with C’s, D’s and F’s
It didn’t make me to fell any good
Math and English weren’t my favourites
Some kids made fun of me
They called me stupid and dumb
Even that made me worst
I don’t think I will finish high school
I might as well drop out
What the hell
I had no future whatsoever
I had nowhere to go, but down
I could see it now
I will have low paying job with crappy hours
I will work like a dog
I will live in a crummy apartment
Who knows?
I could end up being a druggie/alcoholic
No one will want me either
Because I was too stupid
That was the story of my life
Sadly, I had low self esteem

  
His Eyes
By Kazz Falcon

His eyes reminded someone special
I could see her in his eyes
The love, the passion, the hopes, the dreams
We used to have it all
Our love was so enormous
Love knows no bounds
It was something we lived for
She wasn’t far from me
I still can reach her in his eyes
I held her very tightly
I won’t let her memories disappear
She will be forever in our heart
We created something special
The son never knew her
She died shortly after she gave birth
She had a tough pregnancy
She didn’t want to end the baby’s life
She gave him a chance to live
She unselfishly ended her beautiful life
She already live her life to the fullest
She didn’t have any regrets
Nor did I
The son was our forever bond
Nothing will ever take that away from us
She gave me a special gift – my son
It touched our souls through his eyes

  
Poison
By Kazz Falcon

The poison crept through seamlessly
I felt something sensational
It went all over my body
Where I had no control any more
It was in charge of the moment
Perhaps, my life too
I couldn’t think straight
Twisted images entered the mind
It continued messing with me
I can’t gasp for air
It tightened my soul within
I reached out for lasting hope
Hope disappeared from my reach
My health crumbled before my very eyes
I felt extremely sick in my stomach
I was in so much pain
Dr. Feelgood wasn’t around
I breathe my last breath
It was the end of me
One shot was all I needed for Angel Of Death
Instantly, I was dead from the poison

  
Dead Inside
By Kazz Falcon

I lost my true love after five years together
His death was premature
He had a heart attack at age 24
He was in perfectly good health
He didn’t drink or do drugs
His death was too much to handle
I don’t want to feel the pain
It nearly killed me
It crushed my heart in a million of pieces
My life wasn’t the same
He was my life, the love of my life
I missed him dearly
I settled in a deep depression
I didn’t want to live
I hardly do anything
I can’t go on
I just can’t
I isolated myself from the world
I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry
I was miserable
I gave up on my life
I was afraid to live again
How can I live my life again?
I was dead inside



Rest In Peace
By Kazz Falcon

My life ended after a long illness
AIDS finally took my life
I didn’t have a chance
I had double pneumonia
I was weak
The meds wasn’t working either
My body finally gave up
I had a small funeral
A few people was there
They loved me so much
They wept
They couldn’t believe I was gone
The double pneumonia was unexpectedly
I caught a small cold
Overnight, I was extremely sick
I lay in the coffin
I was put underground
I was free from the pain
My soul was released from the body

  
Final Home
By Kazz Falcon

I recently died in my sleep
It was my time to go
I was very old and winkled
I don’t miss anyone
I will see everyone again
My soul left my body
I had no ideal where I was going
Was I going to heaven or hell?
For some reason, I was stuck
Right now, I was floating
I saw my body in the coffin
I looked peacefully
I thought I would go straight to heaven
I flown home
Man, it wasn’t heaven
Nor it was hell either
I checked on my wonderful family
They was still mourning
Some of them weren’t at peace with my death
I had a great ideal
I gave them something to remember me by
An angel statue magically appeared on the desk
They knew it was from me
Each member felt my presence
I was their guardian angel
Love and support will get them through anything
Finally, I went to my final home


Another Lifetime
By Kazz Falcon

I went back to the past
Things were quite different
Back then, I was homeless
I managed to survive the street
I had my own place in Hollywood
I grown a lot since then
I became a better person - physically and mentally
Life couldn't be any better
I was proud I accomplished many things
I couldn't make it without the shelter's help
I won't forget the experience
It's hard not to
The shelter came at a much needed time
I was grateful to have the shelter
I continued on the right path
I wasn't the same person
I won't mess up ever again
Or I will not depend on someone's help
I have to make it on my own
I felt so good to succeed
Sometimes, we need to go back to the past
We won't forget our roots
After all, it was another lifetime


Threatening Poem
by Kazz Falcon

Man, I really hate the other students
They kept on bullying me
The teacher don't do a thing about them
She believed they were just playing around
Yeah, right!
I can't take it any more
The next best thing was the poem
I was expressing my feelings
"For I can be the next kid to bring guns to kill the students"
That was how I felt at that time
I gave the poem to a fellow student
She notified the teacher
I was arrested the next day
I was expelled from school
I served 100 days in juvenile hall
Everyone made a big deal about it
I was reaching out with the threatening poem
 
 
Real Karma
By Kazz Falcon
 
My ex lover made me homeless in late 2001
He was in a car accident; drunk driving
He lost the car, his job and the apartment
I knew I will be homeless again
He moved to his sister's in Whittier
He left me on the street
I stayed in the shelter for six months
My time was up
I moved in with Miguel
Yes, that does sounded CRAZY
I had no other choice
9/11 - I recieved fagulous news
I have my own apartment
Miguel was pretty upset for leaving him
The truth hurts
I wasn't safe living with him again
Hey, I need to look out for myself
I must do what's best for me
I never told him about the place
Till I knew for sure
I didn't want to jinx the good fortune
He least unexpected it
Why did I move?
Here was the good reason
I knew if I stay with him again
The same thing will happen
I will be homeless again
Boy, I was right on the money
This year, karma bite Miguel on the ass
He lost his job and his apartment
He became homeless
 
 
Surreal Dream
By Kazz Falcon

There was a knock on the door
It must be one of my friends
He was my eyes
We supposed to go shopping today
I always love our times together
I opened my door
Someone else was there
He told me that my time has come
I couldn't believe it
My jaw dropped like a ton of bricks
This can't be real
It just couldn't be
I haven't live my life to the fullness.
I still have dreams I want to do
My main dream was to see again.
"Why so soon?" I asked
"Someone needs you more," He answered.
I can't go.
Not right now.
He mentioned I have no other choice
God, why did this happen today?
I am in perfect health!
I don't smoke, drugs and drink
He took me to the light, a very bright one.
The further we walked toward, more blind I became
I felt someone's hand over my eyes.
I looked up to him.
He was the most wonderful being I ever saw
I saw the love and closeness around him
I couldn't believe it
My God, I was in pure heaven
Someone pinched me
Ouch, that's hurts.
I finally saw my friend for the first time
I was cure from being blind.
I wondered how I got here.
My friend mentioned, "Maybe, it was God's plan.
You need faith to believe the impossible."
God works in mysterious ways.
He restored my faith
I gave up all hope in God long time ago
The doctors thought I couldn't see any more
The car accident was tragically for my eyes
I praised the lord for my sight again
I was another miracle

Copyright © 2005 Kazz Falcon

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.