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#6

The World’s Troubles
By Kazz Falcon

The world’s troubles were at my feet
I could see things they couldn’t see
I could feel the pain the didn’t feel
I could hear their voices crying for help
I observed the world in my mind
I served healing
I deserved to be like Jesus Christ
I put the troubles on the table
The troubles comes alive through me
In their eyes, I was Satan
In their flesh, I conflicted pain
With their ears, they were dead to the world
In their hearts, opening the door for Jesus
I saw the pain in their eyes
I felt the pain in the flesh
I heard the pain in the voices
What troubles time we were in
They didn’t understand the troubles
I cried, “I want to stop the pain.”
I walked in the trouble’s shows
I talked for the world’s troubles in my poems


Whose Love?
By Kazz Falcon

Everybody deserves to be love
Anybody could be the one
Somebody is out there for me
Nobody wants to be lonely
Everybody can’t be in love with the opposite sex
Anybody could be gay, straight or bisexual
Somebody like me is a homosexual
Nobody wants to die alone
Everyone couldn’t be hateful
Anybody could be prejudice
Somebody should show their love to them
Nobody can escape real love
Whose love?


The Only Child
By Kazz Falcon

The only child
I’m gay
“Say it isn’t so,” mom shouted.
“May I ask why?” Dad uncomfortable asked.
Since the first day, I wondered the same thing
There is no right or wrong answer
I just know in my heart
I was different from the rest
I couldn’t describe it
I guessed it just happens as a kid
I knew way back then
I’m 17 year old
The same feelings was still there since I was a kid
There was no escaping it
I could have stay in the closet
The closet was no place for me
I wouldn’t be happy there
I’m gay and the only child


Wake Up
By Kazz Falcon

Wake up
Make it happen for you
Take yourself to rehab
If not, I may blab
Your family doesn’t know about the drinking problem
I could spill the beans
I have to explain to them why I am homeless
I wouldn’t have to lie
Through drinking, lying comes natural to you
You would cast a web of lies
You are still looking ways to drink
You must be ashamed of yourself
You ruined my life and, soon, your family
Your family gave you a shot – you aren’t homeless
Not yet anyway
You could end up like me
Living on the street
I don’t have a problem – you are an alcoholic
Wake up


My Present Life
By Kazz Falcon

My present life
I’m at it again – rebuilding my life for a third time
When would it end?
I’m so freaking tired of being homeless
I felt like this is a cycle
This time around, it wasn’t even my fault
I found it so frustrating
It sounds like it may never end
I was homeless in Dallas couple of times
I met good friends along the way
They wasn’t enough – I guessed I’m bound without a home
It wasn’t their fault or mine
It was my choice to be homeless back then
Now, it wasn’t my choice or even my fault
I did the best I could to stay off the street
An alcoholic boyfriend destroyed our happiness
For the time being, I must live my present life


Out There
By Kazz Falcon

Out there
Somewhere
Anywhere
Nowhere
Here
There
A few in between
I blew like the wind
Going any directions as I wandered
Wherever I go
I don’t have the slightest ideal
I could go the way of Anne Heche
My mind is out there


Finding Out
By Kazz Falcon

Finding out
I’m HIV positive
How could it happen?
I’m too young
I still have things I want to do
Now, I can’t do any of them
What a waste!
That is a shame
I thought I was being careful
What brought it on?
I sought out for answers
I ought to learn from my mistake
Sleeping around, drinking and drugs
There’s no wonder I’m HIV positive
Finding out


Decisions
By Kazz Falcon

Decisions
I need to sort out my life
My alcoholic boyfriend gave me some cards
There were no aces in the stack
I must use my better judgment
Being homeless is a new beginning
A new beginning for a life or go further down the toilet
I lied to my lover; the shelter kicked me out
He wanted me to live with him at his sister’s
I declined – I’m crap free
He continued to believe the lie
I mentioned I was still at Path
It went over his head
He wanted me to move with him to Las Vegas
I declined again – I’m crap free
I just don’t want to pass up my chance
The housing and computer training
I must do it myself
I don’t think he would like my decisions


Abusive Relationship
By Kazz Falcon

Abusive Relationship
It was taking a toll on me
The abusive was too much to take
I can’t go on living or love him
He kept on drinking and doing the same mistakes
My mind was warped from the abuse
I sometimes want to be out there
Anne Heche, I’m going to that place sooner or later
I wouldn’t know the place
I would be out of it – out of mind, out of sight
Wandering through the streets in a unknown city
If I don’t tame the dragon,
I become too emotional unstable
I must break free from the abusive relationship


Fallen Love
By Kazz Falcon

Fallen Love
What happened thou?
I guessed my love wasn’t good enough
Something else was tasty for him
Anything like alcohol, drugs and/or sex
He picked them over me a few times
My love seemed hallow to him
There was nothing from my love
He only live for alcohol, drugs and sex
Can’t he see?
Those things are less valuable than love
He traded our love
What happened thou?
Fallen love


Alcohol, Drugs and Sex
By Kazz Falcon

Alcohol, drugs and sex
There are my three favorite things
There are much better than love
I do care for Kazz, but not as much I do for the three
He must try then if he only loves me
Don’t he trust me anymore?
I won’t be happy unless he tried them
Nothing would ever go wrong
I still have his love
I would kept on doing all three
He don’t have any say over me
He isn’t my boss
His love is what matters to me
Then again, he sometimes put me down
He always threw it in my face
That isn’t love
Anyhow, I escaped to alcohol, drugs and sex


Life Is Hell
By Kazz Falcon

Life is hell
Doesn’t it ring a bell
By Satan, the innocence fell
With Adam and Eve’s nudeness, they yell
God can tell
From the lies, the snake smell
Life is hell


The Passion
By Kazz Falcon

Passion
The passion for life
The passion for the arts
The passion for the beach
The passion for love
The passion for friendship
The passion for work
The passion for dreams
The passion for writing
The passion for family
The passion for GOD
The passion for music
The passion for the movies
The passion for a new home
The passion for anything else
Without the passion, we won’t have anything to live for
With the passion, we can strive to be the best
The Passion


Stupid
By Kazz Falcon

Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Smart
Smart
Smart
Oops, my mistake
Nah, they couldn’t be smart for doing drugs, drinking, gambling, fighting and other stupid things
I’m stupid for trying to justified their stupidness
They are just plain stupids
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid


Which One?
By Kazz Falcon

Man
Woman
Man
Woman
Man
Woman
Man
Woman
Man
Woman
Man
Woman
Man
Woman
Hmm, I’m so confused for trying to decide
I would rather be bisexual
The best thing I have the best of both worlds
Man
Woman
Which one?
 

Goodbye, Los Angeles
By Kazz Falcon

Goodbye, Los Angeles
I didn’t want to be homeless in LA for a third time
Rebuilt my life in LA twice was enough
I was excited to hear from a good friend on New Year Eve
He picked me up on Western/Hollywood the next day
I took a chance on San Francisco, not San Diego
We both had a ball
He needed to go home after a few days
I stayed to know SF much better
I mostly hang out at the gay part of town
Home is where the heart is
Come nightfall, I tried a homeless shelter
I slept on the hard floor by the cold window
I couldn’t get enough sleep
I searched for more shelters
A priest mentioned, “SF go by a lottery system.”
It was a lot tougher in SF than LA
I packed up my things and went home
Hello, Los Angeles


He Becomes Him
By Kazz Falcon

He becomes him
He ex was an alcoholic
He vowed he wouldn’t be like him
He allowed his drinking to get out of control
As time goes by, he becomes him


Poetry
By Kazz Falcon

Poetry
How could I put it in words?
Some feelings are hard to do
As I write, the poems are natural
I must find a way
Trust me
My feelings on paper will cease the pain
Poetry


My Mistakes
By Kazz Falcon

My mistakes
I went against my own beliefs
Fast love doesn’t work
I met this guy at a club
We like each other and we suddenly became a couple
Soon after, gifts followed then the apartment talk
I wasn’t sure of living together
He promised he would take care of everything
The apartment was in his name, the bills was in mine
I just wanted to be fair of living together
I want a part of the responsible too
His sister let us to use her car
I got my driver’s license to take him places
We had our first fight
I didn’t pick him up from La Dome, his work
“Hello, the car broke down on Rossmore!”
I saw his nasty side
I should have left him right then and there
My mistakes


God Or Satan
By Kazz Falcon

God
Satan
God
Satan
God
Satan
Hmm, it must be Satan on Earth
Life is hell
When I die, it would be God in heaven
Satan controls the planet Earth
The heavens are forever in God’s hands
What side you want to be on?
God or Satan


Everyone Is A Sinner
By Kazz Falcon

Everyone Is A Sinner
With Jesus Christ, we are winners
We are born sinners unlike Jesus Christ
Adam and Eve were innocence till Satan tricked them
They ate the apple and both were naked in God’s eyes
God cast them out of Garden of Eden
Satan was pleased to get control of earth
God was displease that everyone is born a sinner
But God had a back up plan - Jesus Christ
Jesus wasn’t born a sinner - he wasn’t born of the flesh
Jesus was born of the spirit from heavens above
We are born from the flesh on earth
Therefore, everyone is a sinner


The Choice
By Kazz Falcon

The choice
The voice explained I must make a decision
“kick him out or let him in.”
My lover was missing for a couple of nights
I knew he was partying alone or with friends
It wasn’t his first time
He didn’t call or stop by in the car
I had it up here with his partying and sex
It made me sad that he doesn’t want any help
I couldn’t do anything
He must do it on his own
I listened to my inner being,
“Leave him in the cold.”
He finally showed up one night
I was about to tell him - go somewhere else
I opened the door
He stood there, badly bruise from the car accident
The choice became another choice
Nurse him back to health or leave him in the cold
The choice


The Street Again
By Kazz Falcon

The Street Again
I let myself down
I broke my promise
I vowed I would never be homeless again
I also promised that I would do anything to stay of the street
Two times, I claimed to be a druggie/alcoholic
I went to rehab in Long Beach and Los Angeles
I was desperate to have a home no matter what
This time, I ended up at a shelter at my lover’s expense
His drinking had a dynamo effect
He was in a car accident, badly hurt
He lost the car, the job and the apartment
We supposed to live at his brother’s on Crenshaw
They had a big fight
I knew it was too good to be true
He moved to his sister’s in Whittier
I became homeless in LA once again
The street again


The Beatings
By Kazz Falcon

The beatings changed my life
It exchanged something I desire left behind,
A normal fully life with lots of happiness
Hit me in the stomach
My passion utterly went away
The hopes and dreams astray from my gasp
The dope I was screamed out loud
I lost focus from the beatings -
Homelessness, alcohol lover, losing faith
The dark clouds were too emotional for me
The unhappiness became my snack
I wanted the passion back
In my life, all the drama was whack
I went through so much drama this past few years
I need to reclaim the passions and my life
In order to save me from further beatings
The beatings


It Seems Weird
By Kazz Falcon

It seems weird
Here I am standing in front of a billboard
There I was on the ad with the #1 book in the nation
I was glad when I finally became somebody
I was mad as hell that nobody took my serious
I came a long way from the shelter
I still couldn’t believed my dream
It finally happened after all those years
A sweet lady made it happen
I wouldn’t trade her friendship the world
Her friendship I cherished a great deal
I was still in awe over the billboard
My name was on the billboards across the USA
Everybody would know who I was
After all, it seems weird


Two Timing
By Kazz Falcon

Two timing
Why is my lover doing that?
I wondered if he was sending me a message
I haven’t confronted him
I just can’t
It’s too painful to talk
I should take a long walk
It would do me some good
I prayed to God for food of thought
I stayed away to gather my thoughts
God gave my an answer - the pussy
I went home for a little chat
I grabbed one thing I could count on
The pussy was my only true friend
My ex lover can have everything else
Everything else but the pussy
Two timing


My Only Kid
By Kazz Falcon

My only kid
He told me something heartbreaking
I wasn’t bold enough to face him
He was old enough to make his own decisions
His gayness destroyed my grandmother’s vision
I couldn’t bare the thought
I tried to stare right into his eyes
I cried that I couldn’t be a grandmother
Why couldn’t it be someone else’s child?
I shouldn’t be hard on him
But, damn, why my only kid?
A dreadful thought crossed my mind
Did I raise him wrong?
Maybe, I didn’t mother him enough
I raised him as a single parent
So many questions
Why my only kid?


The Future
By Kazz Falcon

The future
I’m going to make it happen somehow
Somebody would publish my book of poems
Anybody should take me serious
Nobody could turn me down
Everybody would get wind of me
My poems are the star attraction
They could relate to any of my poems
That’s the key of my success
I don’t care for fame or fortune
I dare to admit
The poems could make a different in their lives
Only I’m well known through word of mouth
I would be happy
As long I change somebody’s life for the better
No matter what lies before me
I’m looking forward to the future


Please, Pretty Please
By Kazz Falcon

Please, pretty please
This is a cry for help
Nobody take me serous
They believed I’m not smart enough
Those bastards!
Yes, I was in Special Ed in elementary school
Only because I have a speech problem
And I was a slow learner
It isn’t my fault that I was BORN SPECIAL
God wanted me to be that way throughout my life
I honestly believed God gave me a gift
The gift of writing
I’m a natural born artist
My writing is 100% better than my talking
They could understand me through writing
Only if they give me a chance
Only if they take me serious
Only if they answer my cry for help
Please, pretty please


Why, Oh, Why?
By Kazz Falcon

Why, oh, why?
Why does my lover make my life miserable?
He kept on sharpening his knife for some stupid reason
This couldn’t be rabbit season
I’m not Bugs Bunny
Porky Pig, yes
Oink, oink
I couldn’t be a pig either
Then again, my life stinks
Oh, when would it end?
He’s more interest in alcohol than me
He can’t have both - alcohol and me
Since alcohol clouded his mind
I must let him go
It would be easy thou
I don’t love him as much I used to
Why does my lover make my life miserable?
Why, oh, why?
 

Copyright © 2005 Kazz Falcon

I have the spirit of an alien.
I need to find my own kind.
I must shed off the dreadful human skin.
It is very uncomfortable.